nothing much

What a day today... I was swamped at work... with ... work... the nerve... I guess my honeymoon phase is over. I am now an official permanent employee... so there for I must work... ALOT~

So I am now sitting in class... bord to death... I gotta admit I feel a little guilty, I have been surfing the blog data base for the past hour just looking for other blogs to read... and I must say, I have been sadly dissapointed. I did find the following in someone's blog.. can't remember who's... anyway... it caught my attention and felt the need to re-post it!

Remember! No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Here are my thouhts on it... I am the first person to say... "own your feelings" and I'm the first one to add "you cannot control anyone else BUT yourself... , So stop trying"! (you'll be much happier).

Positive note for the day... I LOVE my job! :)

Liars!

Those who say money doesn't buy happiness... LIE!

Now don't get me wrong... I know you can't pay for love and pay to be emotionally happy, BUT seriously, money sure as hell makes you confortable... which in turn... makes you a hell of alot happier than if you were poor!

The pain is back...

My back has been killing me these days. AGAIN! I guess the pain never left... it just dulled a little. But I am back to feeling the sharp pain down my right leg, and the sharp prick when I shift my weight from one side of my body to the other. Its hard to explain, but I will try...

• When I'm standing, and I lean over a counter to reach for something.... it hurts so bad my back gives out and I have to place my hands in front of me to form somewhat of a bridge...
• When I lean to hug someone shorter than me, it hurts.
• When I stand for more than 15 minutes... it hurts.
• When I sit for more than 15 minutes... it hurts.
• when I sneeze, I have to hold on to something, because my back becomes weak and gives out.
• When I'm laying on my side, if I want to switch to the other side, I can't just lift my pelvic area and scoot it over... I HAVE to sit up completely and THEN scoot my bottom, while supporting myself with my arms.
• And lastly... it's so hard to kick-box

What I don't get is I'm 25 and have always been active... Soccer in elementary school, basketball in Jr. High, softball in high school, and gym 5 days a week after that... so tell me how this happened to me?

Also tell me how this day in age, there isn't much they can do about it... (for the two slipped disks in my lower back)... My primary doctor says excises.. my orthopedic doctor says, no exercise, just yoga... But I have to tell you, yoga is REALLY difficult when you can't move very well... Both doctors are against surgery (no complaints here), but can they at least give me some drugs to numb me... just for a little?

Ok positive note for this post filled with bitching and venting: JoJi turns 3 years old... in two weeks and she is so dang cute still... Oh and her mom is expecting baby #2.. I'm sure JoJi will be very accepting (ha!)

How much do we care?

How much do we care, what others think of us? I know if you asked me if I cared what people thought of me, my automatic reply would be… I don’t really care… I do what I do… and the only person I need to answer to, ultimately is me… but is that the truth?

I’m beginning to think not… I am also finding, that, that is the case for most. I have a couple of examples I have come across that keep making me ask my self this question over and over…

Example 1- Age 20’s: A close friend of mine “friend A” made a poor decision that led her to a financial loss… her first thought…”don’t tell friend B, I don’t want her to know”.

Example 2- Age- 30’s: When a good friend of mine and his girlfriend ended things, they did not end in such good terms…and the one thought that he kept repeating was… “I don’t want to think that there is someone out there that thinks of me as a bad person”.

Example 2- Age – 40’s; I have these two pair of married friends who are in the same point in their lives. They both are settled, 2 children, 1 dog, and a nice home. One is a stay-home mother, and the other is a career oriented person. The common bond was that both their husbands worked for the same company. Sadly the stay-at home mother’s husband was laid off and they were forced to move back near their family for support. First thing out of her mouth… was… “Don’t tell “career oriented mom”, I don’t want them to know”. The career oriented mom’s husband was also laid off about a year or so later, her thought was the same… “don’t tell stay at home mom… I would rather she not know”.

So tell me… why do we care? It seizes to amaze me how no matter how old you are, you will always wonder what people think of you. Why is that?

The Key? Perhaps...

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Things you could know… if you only ask!

Inspired by my friend

serendipity

1. I work for Barbie… she’s a cool boss.
2. Gummie bears rule!
3. I am not a morning person… see me around noon, I’ll be chatty then.
4. I like to talk to random people about random stuff
5. If you want to know… just ask me
6. I like to ask couples how they met… don’t know why, just curious I guess
7. I have a dog named Rowsie who is 5 years old and is the laziest dog I’ve ever come across… anytime she moves… she farts - I still love her!
8. Why are some people so bitter? Dude… LET – IT – GO!
9. Kids and the elderly are funny and Oh so interesting…
10. I’m not a typical girl, because I don’t like to shop, I don’t like make up, I don’t wear heals, I don’t like perfumes… and I hate pantyhose!
11. Why is it that short guys hit on me?
12. I like milk… I drink it for breakfast and dinner
13. This is for the men… no matter how hot you are… you NEED an undershirt!
14. I’m not picky, just particular about certain things!
15. I like to see little kids wearing Uggs… they’re so dang cute!
16. I have a co-worker who looks like Casper Van Dien… hubba hubba!
17. I don’t have a favorite color… and I don’t have a favorite flower…

R.I.P

It’s the hardest thing to say good bye to someone you’ve known and loved. It’s the hardest thing to accept that that person will no longer be around in flesh… and most importantly its so damn hard to be around and see how much their family and friends miss him.

Today I had to say good bye to a dear friend of mine. He was only 30 years old with a wonderful heart and so much to offer the world. The mortuary was jammed packed with people that they had to open a second room to accommodate the rest… this has got to tell what kind of a person he was…

Although I know God has taken him from us too soon, I know he has a reason for that. All I ask God, is that he lets him see how he affected all us, and how his spirit will remain alive in our hearts.

God Bless You and Always Keep You!

RIP

J.G.R 11/6/05

Oh the juggling act...

Here I am again, finding myself to have let so much time pass between each posting. So much has happened and so much has not happened, that it makes it hard to know where to start. Again, I have been faced with the dilemma of balancing the 5 balls in my life, (The balls being work, family, health, friends and integrity...). Its so hard to juggle all five at once, as I have mentioned before, I seem to have continuous control over 4, but when I start to get control over that 5th and final one, one of the others seems to slip... making me have to stop and start over again. I realize that while I will not always have 100% balance of all five, I just wish I could get at lest 80% of all at once... who knows... maybe its just not the right time!

These past couple of months have been pretty interesting. Filled with many new experiences, emotions, and people I have learned a lot. A lot about life, friends, and most importantly, myself. I am very Thankful! I will always be!