my life, my story

Challenge~ School and finance...grrr

2007-08-28T08:45:00.000-07:00

So I have been faced with a challenge. Apparently I only have $3900 to complete my BA, but I need $10,000. so really I need to come up with about $6000, how, oh HOW does one do that? So apparently I can't graduate, until I get that money... and a private loan is out of the question, because I co-sighned for my sister. grrr We'll the other option is 401K, but that would only be like $4000... I guess it's something. ;) We'll see... I'm sure it will all work out.

On another note, life is good.

Every time..

2007-08-21T13:45:00.000-07:00

So every time I log on, I promise, I vow, and I pinky swear I will be better at writing in here... well what can I say... It's been a crazy few months.

So I just realized I have 5 classes left to graduate... Im thrilled... extatic... eveyrthing you can think of. I'm counting the months down and can wait to get that degree on my wall... egh!

Now lets see, Debbie got married, this past weekend. August 18th. Wow its amazing how time flys... before you know it... she will be having a baby. Well lets hope not for a long time. Since the planning of the wedding I've been hanging out with Michele alot... its been great. She is really cool and sweet... what good and true friends are made of!

Till next time!

The past couple months

2007-06-13T16:20:00.000-07:00

So much has happened since May 3rd. Wes passed away on May 14th. It was very hard for all of us, but I was very fortunate to be able to make it to the hospital before they put him down. His eyes had this calm and realed look to them that broke my heart... I know it was for his best, and Im sure he was trying to calm us donw, but it was still one of the hardest things I have had to do.

The other... was I no longer speak to IC ~ my so-called best friend... wierd the way it all worked itself out... but as I always say, things happen for a reason. Usually for the best!

If you're un-happy, ~Leave

2007-05-03T08:48:00.000-07:00

So on May 1, 2007 immigrants took to the street to protest and ask for "a clear path to become citizens".

Now I have mixed feelings about this. While I understand that many of these protestors are illegally residing here yet are working and are contributors to our economy, it's hard to say, yes, swear them in, and let them have all the benefits everone else has. Here is why~

It is not guaranteed that all are hard working, responsible individuals. It is also not guaranteed, that they will continue to do that once they are citizens. It is sad, but it was reported that "aprrox 1,500 LA County school district students participated in the walk out, all from 9 high school and 6 middle schools". I guarantee you, you ask these kids, WHAT the protest was about, and the majority would not know what to say.

I just think, it is a tough decision, and is not one that can be made in the snap of a finger.

We all need dreams

2007-05-02T16:47:00.000-07:00

I will not even begin to apologize for such a delay in writing again. All I will say is "school"~

Okay so all is fair. Maynor moved to FL. I'm a bit jealous, simply because, I imagine how great it must be to move out and b on your own. UGH... oh well. Good news is I have about 3 semesters left. I'm excited. EXTREMELY excited.

Okay so I watched "Running With Scissor" on Sunday, it was different, COMPLETELY different than what I thought, BUT, I did get this out of it~

~"Everyone needs a dream. Without a dream, we have no purpose"

I agree... we all need something to strive for.

Im a U.S. Citizen

2007-04-26T20:18:00.000-07:00

So, after a year of dealing with the U.S. Immigration department, I finally got my interview to take the citizenship test. I went 4/5/2007 and was very fortunate to be interviewd by a very nice man. I passed!

NOW, today I went to take the oath. It is amazing how many people were in there. The immigration officer holding the ceremony, said there were 4,000 people there at that moment, and that earlier they had another 4,000, meaning they swore in a total of 8,000 people in that one day. It's amazing.

Anyway, so yeah, officially I am a U.S. Citizen. :) yippi!

I can vote now!

Playing Catch Up-

2007-03-26T23:21:00.000-07:00

I have a good excuase, I was locked out of my blogger. Really!

Ok so nothing much new. I'm still trying to move out, and it is playing out to be a little harder than expected, but I am not giving up. I sort of found a room mate, and she is willing to live with my little innocent Rosie the rottweiler. So now instead of hunting for an apartment, I am hunting for a house... eeek... we'll see how this plays out.

Work is well... ehhh there is nothing else going on. I am just board these days...

It's all a process I suppose

2007-02-28T09:59:00.000-08:00

I know I have been a stranger these past few months. Things have been busy and life has been quite an experience.

I have been wrapping up this semester in school which will leave me with 2 more to go. I am really excited, and can not wait till I finish. I’ve decided I’m going to go through and continue on for the MBA program, I figured I might as well since I am already in the flow of things.

I broke up with Benny Friday, it was, by far, the 2nd hardest thing I have ever had to do. It was hard, as I mentioned, we are simply not a good fit. We got along really well and we definitely had some good times, but we did not have the same vision for the future. I want to be financially secure, have a good career, and a healthy lifestyle, and he, well, he was fine with where he was. He is okay working his current job and did not have any plans for furthering himself (which is fine, if that is what makes you happy, but it becomes a hard thing for me). So yeah, we broke up, and although I knew he liked me, I didn’t realize how much… So I’ve talked to him a couple times and he seems fine, he’s cried a couple times… and it truly breaks my heart to hear him like that, but I know that if we went on… we would BOTH grow to resent each other. It’s just not healthy. I told him, it will just take time.

Other than that things are rolling along. I am desperately seeking to move out. I have found a couple of places and am negotiating with them bringing Rowsie (my dog) along. It’s definitely hard finding a place out here that takes dogs(and wont leave you broke). Anyway it’s all a process I suppose. Both places are in not so great areas… it sure wont be by the beach like where I am now, but at least it will be my own.

Well that’s the update for now. I intend to write more often. I should have more free time at home beginning next week… we’ll see.

Straight Hair Theory

2007-01-24T16:27:00.000-08:00

So I have a theory. Women with straight hair advance at a faster pace professionally and receive more attention than those with curly hair.

I have curly hair, and even though I comb it every morning, by the end of the day it's completely all over the place. It's only natural that the wave/curls have a mind of their own and do as feel, so I have accepted and moved on.

Now, sometimes, usually for special occasions, meetings, interviews... times where I feel I need to "present" myself, I will put in that extra 1.5 hour and straighten my hair. Now you wont even believe the difference in reactions I get. From family members to strangers... someone has something to say.

Ex: Christmas Eve dinner with the family, my hair is straight and pulled back into a pony tail with side swept bangs almost covering my right eye. The first thing my aunts tell me is how nice my hair color is and what a great hair cut I have. Now, the interesting part is that the color and cut they were talking about was done about a month before which they had seem me on Thanksgiving with.

Ex: At work we get contracted electricians that come in, and every morning for the past few months the same guys have been working in the hall way I come in through, and every morning I say "goodmorning". They usually will smile acknolwege me and keep on their business. Now the days I have straight hair. They will initiate the "goodmorning" and usually add an extra "great whether" or "aren't you cold"... Yeah... Interesting right?

So my theory... Technically... I have proven it. I've also noticed that the women in management (or higher) positions in the company I work for... all have straight hair.

Just my theory... thats all!

MIA.... but now I'm back

2007-01-24T16:21:00.000-08:00

So, I'm back. I've been MIA... and missing my blogging... but here I am... back again!

I've started school full time this term. I've decided to attend full time through the summer so that I can graduate this year and start my MBA by fall. egh... I can even say write it with out breaking into hives.

So the year is fairly new... and not much has changed. Work is going smoothly and the rest of my life is fairly well too. I've been getting a couple of cold soars back to back... but egh... they are going away.

So... my main goal this year is to move out. I am desperate to leave my moms nest and start my own. My own privacy, my own space... the whole deal. I'm shooting for April or May... If you love you'll cross your fingers for me! LOL

Well its nice to be back... and I promise it wont be long for the next post.!

I'm not sure..

2006-11-29T22:44:00.000-08:00

I'm just not sure.

I feel rather tired these days.

My arm keeps hurting... I think its because of work.

My back hurts too... I'm thinking that is stress.

I'm in a History class in which I feel as if I am drowning.

Ben said he is in love with me. I think it's too soon.

How does one know, when it's "too soon"?

I hope things get better by Friday!

A rough Thanksgiving

2006-11-27T12:11:00.000-08:00

its been a tough few days.

Thanksgiving was good. I spent it along side of my family (as usual), and then after I went to Ben's house for dessert.

My dad called me Friday. It's always hard talking to him. I don't know why -well, maybe I do- but everytime we talk I want to cry. My eyes tear up and I get that fucked up knott in the back of my throat that doesnt let me swallow. It sucks.

Anyway... the toughest part of these last few days was saying bye to Bean. Bean is the smalles and oldest of our dogs. She was a fiesty yet sweet dog. She never thought of herself as a small dog... and would constantly attack our 125 lbs. Rottweiler. She was daring! Well Bean has had a soar that wouldn't heal for a few months now, the Vet said it was Cancer and tried to give her some meds. Well this weekend it just got worse. She developed about 3 more soars and just completely stopped eating. Well it was hard, but we had to make the decision to put her down. She was 12 years old her body just didn't seem like it wanted to go further. It was hard. I think what makes it harder is that we have lost a dog every year for the past 3 years. All of old age. I hope next year is different!

RIP Bean 8/1994 - 11/2006

Just sailing along...

2006-11-15T11:35:00.000-08:00

So its been a few interesting months. Nothing too fancy going on.... just staying busy working on buying a house, finishing school, climbing that corporate latter, and dating Benny.

I'll start with the house buying. Pretty much, I'v frozen it until spring of 2007. I want to bring my debt ratio down so that I don't worry about the finacial part of it. Lets cross our fingers, because I don't think I can live at home for much longer than that.

School... (sigh) so I've set up my schedule and and set to finish Summer of 2007. I might have to take a couple of classes at a JC... but I suppose its a small price to pay for being done. I'm also thinking I will be going straight through to work on my MBA. I figure this will deffer my student loans AND and I'm already in the routine of things so... might as well.

Climbing the corporate latter. Now this one is not so simple... perhaps... but my boss said something that made so much sense. Through a conversation, she said "we should dress for the job we want, not for the job you have" which I makes a lot of sense. You see I work in a very creative environment, a lot of designer, and trendy people. So it can get very easy to slip down the road of sloppyness when trying to be fashionable. So I've made a commitment. I've X'ed out tennis shoes/sneakers, t-shirts and corduroy from my wordrobe on Monday through Fridays. So far two weeks by and still going strong.

Now the last, but definetly not least. Dating Benny. Benny is nice and sweet and really good to me. I like him a lot and we have fun together. I'm enjoying his company and he enjoys mine (at least I think he does). Well so far everything is good. It's a little hard to make time for each other as we each have opposite schedules and he works on weekends sometimes. So we REALLY have to try HARD to make that small time we have together worth our while. He sent me roses on Monday... I liked that a lot. Not many guys remember the small romatic things like that. Well I'm just letting things roll out... He is very shy, so sometimes its hard to get what ever is on his mind out. But Im sure its all just a work in progress.

Well I guess everything is as it should be.... just sailing.... sailing along.

highs and lows...

2006-10-17T17:04:00.000-07:00

So what a few weeks it has been… so much has happened I don’t know where to start… so instead of telling all… I will merely tell you the highest points.

I met Ben Friday… he is such a cute-e… I really like him. He is really shy… but I have to admit -it makes him more attractive. Well so far he knows just what to say and when to say it. He is doing good!

Work is good. Working on 2008 product now. I can’t believe how far ahead we start… I guess it’s all in the name of competition, right?

My lovely mother turned 59 years old Sunday… we took her out to dinner and had some family time with her…. She loved it. Now my sibs and I are talking about making a big blow out next year for her 60th. We’ll see.

Saddest news yet… Jenn and Bob are getting a divorce. I love them so, it’s kind of a disappointment. I know things are for the best, but I still have to wonder, if they actually did “give it their best”. They are doing good though. Jenn seems really happy and healthy… I don’t know much about Bob though (I hope he is doing good).

Well I am off to the gym.. gain a little more muscle and burn a whole lot of fat!

Highlight for the post… Ben is taking me out to dinner Thursday. I can’t wait!

Wierd Week

2006-10-05T16:58:00.000-07:00

If you wait too long for the perfect moment,
The perfect moment will pass you buy.

I read this in a Secret someone posted on PostSecrets.com. It makes too much sense!

It’s been a weird week, I was sick Monday so I didn’t go to work. I had a bad migraine, or something of the sorts.. but my head hurt and I felt really nauseous… and now I am taking Friday off to go to an all day spa. Not too excited about the spa though… we’ll see how it goes.

I bought, started, and finished reading “For One More Day” by Mitch Albom. I am not much of a reader, but when I pick up a Mitch Albom book, I can’t put it down. It’s really heart warming with a twist of reality… at least my reality.

So it’s official… it’s October! Halloween is right around the corner… I’m so excited… My costume is being worked on… I plan to start looking for the wig and cheap make-up this weekend. I’m working on being Elivra ~ Mistress of the Dark!

She is so cool!

So positive note for the day~ I am off tomorrow to an outdoor spa (hopefully I can work on my tan). ;)

Face to Face - Disconnected

2006-09-28T16:04:00.000-07:00

Every time I hear this song, I freeze... because the lyrics are so true to me. There is this one particular part of the song that I love singing along with it goes like this…

Trust is something that comes easy

When you've never been a victim

I love it. Something about it is so touching to me, but I have to say, there are a few songs that do that to me. Where I catch a couple of the lyrics and they just stick… they rhythm, the words, the sentiment. It’s great!

Well it’s been a busy few weeks, hence my lack of participation – Amy turned 25 on Wednesday 9/27 – we took her out to P.F. Changs… mmm good food. I love there banana spring rolls with vanilla ice cream… I’m a sucker for desserts. Work has been fairly busy, we have a brainstorming session scheduled off site next week, I’m really looking forward to it. It’s a nice hotel, and it should be a relaxing atmosphere. We’ll see. Now, managerial accounting is kicking my arse! Don’t know why I can’t get this shit… but it sure is making me think…oh wait- that is what school does right? Regardless… it’s getting better.

I went to Vegas last weekend for an early surprise b-day gift for Amy’s mom (they share the same birth date). She was completely shocked. We drove up there Thursday night and got there at around midnight…. She didn’t see us till the next morning. It was great… all I heard was screaming and squealing at like 6am cause she saw Amy. The rest of the time we just relaxed and literally chilled like veggies watching day time TV and movies. I loved it…. Plus her parents always spoil me cause I’m the “guest”… he he
Well I’m off to the gym… got work off those spring rolls I had… or they WILL turn into rolls! LOL

Happy thought for the day – I found who sells Reisling wine near my house… I will be picking up a couple bottles after work!

Nothing too exciting..

2006-09-12T13:39:00.000-07:00

Nothing too exciting these past couple of days. My friends and I went out to the Ivar in Hollywood on Friday… quite a night – let me just say, by the end of the night Amy and I were breaking up a guy fight, Ivonne’s friend screamed at us, I check his ass, Christine was passed out in the back seat of my truck, and I crawled into bed at 4:30am. (sigh) good times, good times!

Well again nothing too exciting this week, I’ve been hitting the gym on a regular basis, so I am back on my routine…. Plus I’m sure it helps, that the hard work has been paying off. Started a new class… Managerial Accounting… not as bad as I thought… mainly accounting principles and what not.

My aunt flew back to Guatemala last week, I gotta admit, although it was a pain to drive her around, I kinda miss her. I wish she, my uncle, and my cousins would just move out here… they might as well – apparently it’s way dangerous over there and as it is they are struggling financially…. Well regardless of what I think, I am sure they know what they are doing.

I spoke to my dad this weekend too. I’d have to say, it’s the longest conversation I’ve had with him via phone ever… a whopping 22 minutes. I was shocked. It was good thought, we just chatted about everything. I’m thinking about visiting him next year… maybe around May or June… my only dilemma is that I would have to forgo my Europe trip… oh, decisions – decisions.

On another note, I’m looking into purchasing a house…. Or condo… just something to call my own, with the market leveling off, I think this might be a good time. I’m just looking though… just curious to see what I can afford – I guess. We’ll see, though.

Well that’s about it for now… my good note for the day… “The Last Kiss” comes out this Friday. I am off to buy tickets now!

Meet Joe Black

2006-09-05T14:07:00.000-07:00

A quote from Meet Joe Black. It's a fascinating movie-

William Parrish - Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived.

It truly is a great movie.

That dreadful weather is back...

2006-08-31T08:40:00.000-07:00

That dreadful weather is back. Gloomy mornings accompanied by a cold breeze. It sucks. I hate mornings like that, they make me stay in bed longer than I should, therefore making me late to work… But that means nothing today…. Since we have a 4 (YES F-O-U-R) day weekend… LOVE IT!

Well nothing too exciting for my days off… so we’ll see. I’m going to a beach concert tonight… nothing fancy… just low key bands. Tomorrow I might go out to a new club, Saturday is my aunts farewell BBQ (she is going back to Guatemala on Tuesday), Sunday Amy is having a BBQ, and Monday… I want to take some Salsa lessons. Phew… ok maybe I do have a bit of stuff planned out.

Well – I know it’s barely 8:30am, but I already have a positive note for the day…. –I will probably be off by 2pm. I LOVE IT -LOVE IT -LOVE IT

Have a great holiday weekend everyone!

Busy Weekend... perhaps.

2006-08-28T12:46:00.000-07:00

What a weekend. I went to a funeral on Saturday morning. It was sad. Bobbi, who lost her brother last year in October in a freak hunting accident, lost her dad last week to cancer. Her dad had been fighting cancer for a couple years now, so they were expecting it, but it still didn’t make it any easier. Well Bobbi, and her family are doing ok. They are getting through it.

I went on a date Saturday night. That was interesting. Nice guy, 35 years old… really, really shy. I would have to say, almost TOO shy. It was sweet though, total gentleman, opened the car door, pulled my chair out… nice stuff, guys my age don’t do… or probably don’t even know about. Regardless it was nice.

Sunday was good too, went to lunch with Amy and Ivonne… chatted and got caught up on the usual things… I hand another date later that night. This one was way better. He is 27 and a total gentleman. Tall (6’3, so I wore heels, woo hoo- for me) and super buff. We had a good dinner, and laughed a lot. It seems we have a lot in common… we party in some of the same places, have a lot of friends and a couple of best friends. All in all I had a great time and hopefully he’ll call.

Um… now it’s back to work. It’s a short week… so I am ecstatic. We are off Friday, AND Monday… ugh… I can’t wait. I have a couple BBQ’s this weekend… and maybe even a visit to Hermosa for a little bit of dancing. We’ll see if we make it.

Effects of some people

2006-08-23T16:41:00.000-07:00

I hate the effect some people have on me. It’s not a bad effect. It’s just not an effect I want.

I saw Eric at work today. –Recap on Eric… he is a model maker that works in a different depart than I. I’ve worked with him once, and occasionally pass him through the halls. We exchange smiles, and sporadically say hi. - Anyway… everyone I know, regardless of how long I’ve known them, if I see them or pass them, I will smile and greet them. For what ever reason… that only God know, when I pass him, the only thing I do is smile. And instantly I feel as if I am turning red. What the hell? Seriously. I know I am not in High School or Grade School for that to be happening. Well today as I was nearing a “T” intersection in one of the halls at work, Eric, along with a co-worker (I know) rounded the corner and start heading towards me. All that came out of my mouth was a greeting for the co-worker. I totally ignored him. I felt so bad, but of course I couldn’t go back and do anything about it. L Oh well. I’ll make an effort to change it for the next time. I’ll cross my fingers. LOL

All week, I keep thinking about how much I want to go back and be a kid again. Maybe 12 or 13 years old. I just think it sucks that as you get older, your body gets slower, you spend more time at work, and you can’t hang out with your friends during the day.

Ok… enough with the bitching… Brightside for today… mmm…… hm…. Ok, I don’t have one yet. But the day is not over, so when I get one, I will post it.

Bright side: I got out of school early again.... and went straight to bed! ;)

I am in a lazy mood

2006-08-21T11:08:00.000-07:00

I had a lazy weekend.

I went to dinner Friday, night… it was good.

I went to the Beauty Bar in Hollywood on Saturday, got two Henna Tattoos and two drinks.

I spent all day Sunday watching Charlie and The Chocolate Factory in between doing laundry, grocery shopping, and working on Ivonne’s resume.

I am exhausted today. I went to sleep at 1:00am last night – this morning because I wanted to watch the end of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. Again~ I love that movie. Jonny Depp does a magnificent job.

I hope my energy increases as the day goes on.

I am in a lazy mood.

I want my bed!

Why I haven't moved out...

2006-08-17T08:51:00.000-07:00

I know it’s only Thursday… but man am I ready for the weekend. I have nothing planned (yet). I just want to sleep in so bad. This week has turned out to be a lot better than the last. Last week, with at least one project a day, (for what ever reason) I would fuck it up. Whether it be wrong colors, wrong measurements, incorrect sculpt, somehow I would manage to screw it up and have to start over. This week, is way different. I’ve done what I needed to do, and then some, so let’s hope it stays like this.

So here is my funny story for the week.
Last weekend we (my brother, sister, and I) decided to clean the garage and start chucking things we didn’t need. So we started by taking everything out from the garage and onto the drive way, where we would go through it and decide what we would keep and what we would chuck.

So my brother has a couple of dirt bikes, a street bike, a gas scooter and some other motorized toys, well he pulled them all out and my nephew started playing with the motorized scooter. So (for whatever reason) he feelt the need to turn it on, so he keeps it idle, but gives it gas so that it starts smoking up. Well my sister and I don’t mind him and just continue to clean and purge. Well, all of a sudden he starts coughing really loud, so loud, it seems as if he is gasping for air. I figured he just inhaled too much of whatever fumes the gas scooter releases and he is trying to clear it form his throat. Now, my brother (his father) is standing next to him and “dealing” with him, so again, I didn’t mind them, as I figured my brother had the situation under control.

Well after about 2 minutes of him continuing to do this, I walk over to them and ask what hell happened. So my brother smirking, and giggling (with a little black bottle in his hand) says… I found this in the pile of junk and wanted to see if it worked (As he is telling me this he hands me the little black bottle… which turns out to be a small pepper spray can that was given to my sister about 10 years ago when she worked as an on-call social work for the LA Police Department)… well it turns out he sprayed it in the air… and the air blew it back toward the direction of where my nephew was, which lead my nephew to inhale it and start gasping for air.

It took him a good 15 minutes to get through it. Afterwards I asked him what it felt like and all he said was “It felt as if someone was scratching my throat as it was tightening “.

So... you see... reason I haven't moved out... I think subconsciously, I like the entertainment.

Friends Code of Conduct…

2006-08-14T16:31:00.000-07:00

Is there such a thing? I mean how do we know if ones code of conduct towards ones friends will be reciprocated? And if it’s not… what is their code of conduct towards us?

Last week, I turned on the radio and heard my favorite morning group asking the general public if “a friend’s ex would be off limits”. The majority of male callers said no and the majority of women callers said yes. Now being that I am a woman, I can only speak from this point of view. You see we (woman) are emotional creatures. We make every (and all) effort to “bond” to someone/something, in every experience we have. We want to be “the only one”, “the perfect girl”, “the love of his life”…. So when that doesn’t happen… we move on. Now you can imagine, if a close friend starts dating the one you are trying to get over… the “moving on” doesn’t quite come that easily. Everything you try to forget… just resides. Every thing you try to let go… stays, and every image you want to get fuzzy… becomes translucent- (definitely not a good thing, when you are trying to move on).

So basically, Yes! Any ex of any friend, acquaintance, relative, or neighbor… is completely off limits to me. Maybe it’s a little over board… but personally-I hate drama.

Just my opinion though!

Better days have followed...

2006-08-10T08:16:00.000-07:00

Better days have followed since. Thank God!

Tuesday was a beautiful day... the sun was shining so it made it so much easier to get up and out of bed. :)

Well school was good last night, I got an A on the midterm... and he (the professor) continues to dismiss us early.

Well it's Thursday, and I am sooo ready for the weekend... I just want to sleep! :)

Well I'm off to work...

Have a great day everyone!

Fucken Headache!

2006-08-07T21:56:00.000-07:00

That stupid training fucked me up. I've had a headache since I left the training on Tuesday and it wont go away. The worst part is that it comes with nausea. I can't be on the computer for too long or, watch TV for more than a half hour, without my eyes feeling tired, my head hurting, and the nausea start up. I hate feeling shitty. This is not me!

So it was a pretty lame weekend. I felt tired and shitty so I didn’t do much. I spent most of Sunday in bed curled up in my bed watching movies in the dark… kinda nice, but I would have much better preferred being outside enjoying the nice whether.

Any who, today at work was interesting, some how, my friend/mentor, Heide and I started talking about how she wants to baptize her youngest, Hannah. Apparently if a child doesn’t get baptize and something happens to them, the don’t go straight to heaven… they go to a place (I think) called Limbo… Now I’ve known Hannah since she was in Heide’s belly, probably even a gleam in her eye… So, I asked Heide who she would pick as Hannah’s Godmother… and she said she would pick me. So of course, I am completely honored (now mind you, chances of this “baptism” happening are pretty slim at the moment)… so then I asked her if she had a will and life insurance… and who she would leave the girls (God forbid) anything happen to her and Rick… and she said one of her sisters (who has two girls of her own)… then she looks at me and says… would you take them… if we left them to you… and I said, of course (mind you, I’m the one who wants four kids).. so we are discussing this mad mess about wills, death, and her girls. When it hits me…. Can you be a Godmother to a child, if you are not Catholic? So that’s where we both got stomped. Me being (somewhat) Christian, doesn’t know, and Heide being a non practicing Catholic… had even less of an idea. Well regardless… I’m honored that she would chose me to raise the girls.

Well that’s it for today… I feel my nausea coming… so I will end with this…

Positive note for the day:
It’s 10:30 and I am going to bed!

Trainings Trainings and then some fun...

2006-08-02T21:27:00.000-07:00

Trainings... Trainings... ugh.
I was in a Photoshop training all day yesterday and today. Now I love to learn new things, especially new software, but man, the first day (Tuesday) was such a drag. The instructor has this Scottish accent, so he kinda lengthens his words... and he would take 15 minutes just to explain how to open a document. Today however, was way better... maybe it's because he talked about stuff I didn't know about... AND I am sure it was because I (smartened up) and brought my Econ book to study during "down time". Regardless... I'm glad it's over and I am glad I got something out of it.

Let's see what else. Oh, Mark came over to my cube on Monday and was telling me about these questions he got from Vogue and what they said about you... so here is how they went, and what I answered;
1. What is your favorite animal and two reasons why?
My Answer: Dog 1-Because they are loyal 2-Because they are cute
Apparently this how I feel my friends view me, as loyal and cute.
2. What is your favorite body of water?
My Answer: Lake 1-because it's calm 2-because I have full control in it
Apparently this is how I am in bed. Calm and in control.

Too funny, of course I kept asking those questions to other people I knew.... just to see how they answered. One of my friends answered Cheetah to Q 1, her reasons... because they run fast and "look" like they are smart... HA!
Ahhh... what can I say, but that I truly enjoy my work and coworkers!

BBQ Filled Weekend

2006-07-31T10:17:00.000-07:00

I made an interesting observation this weekend. My back pain becomes non-exhistant during Friday, Saturday and Sunday, then Monday morning… the pain starts up again. Hmm… I wonder!

What a weekend I’ve had. I had two BBQ’s on Saturday, and one on Sunday and this is how they went:

BBQ #1:
Aunts b-day, hung out with cousins, chatted up with aunts and played the kids. Then I found the only chair in the house where the AC hit just right… so I planted myself on the chair, and didn’t move, UNTIL my dirty aunt, pervertive uncle, and nasty cousin started talking about sex. That is when I said… f-this. I’m out!

BBQ #2:
Ivonne’s brother (Pablo)’s birthday/graduation/farewell party. Pablo turned 18 last week, graduated from High School 2 weeks ago, and in a few weeks, is off to the Navy. Anyway, his sisters, and mom threw him a pool side party (SIDE being the key word). Well everything was good until cake time, their tradition is that the birthday person takes a bite of the cake and as they are doing it, someone smashes their head into the cake. Well before he bit it he said… “who ever shoves my head, I’m throwing in the pool”. Of course Ivonne, had to push his head in the cake…so there he goes, picks her up and heads towards the pool. It was the funniest thing. She clung on to him like a baby monkey holding on to his mama… she was not letting go. So Pablo, being Pablo… continues to hold on to her… smoothly falls into the pool with Ivonne clung on to him. So then he hops out the pool and heads towards his other sister… and does the same. So here I am thinking… he won’t dare do that to me. I’m taller, bigger, no way he can pick me up. Well I was wrong. He picked me up… and all I remember after that, was me saying “my cell, my cell, it’s in my pocket” and having enough time to pull it out of my back pocket and tossing it on the table. After that, I was in the pool… fully dressed… nice. I gotta admit… it was much nicer in the pool than outside… and I am glad I had gym clothe in my truck to change into.

BBQ #3:
Minda’s birthday… she is crazy, bishop alumni are crazy, and her family is crazy! That is all I have to say.

All in all… a great weekend. Couldn’t have asked for a better one!

Catch Up

2006-07-27T15:58:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning thinking “Get Up… Get Up… (sigh) I get to wake up late tomorrow. I get to…” and then I realized, today is Thursday (not Friday). I’m so tired again. It seems like all my energy is depleted during the weekend, then Monday through Tuesday I have just bits of energy left, and by Hump day… I just want to stay in bed. I guess it’s better to deplete my energy doing what I want, rather than what I have to do.

Anyway, work has been really busy and school (al though the professor is rather kind), has definitely left me with a 1 page essay due every Tuesday (I know what you are thinking…. One page is not bad… right… well you try writing one page analyzing supply and demand…. Or how about profit maximizing and loss minimizing… yeah… that’s what I thought!)

Let’s see what else… I been making friends with Mark G. Really nice guy I work with. He kinda looks like Jesus but with curlier hair. Anyway… he is really nice, and he is always showing me his gadgets. He is a some sort of mad scientist in a way and is always building things and making things. It’s a great talent he has. God I wish I would have had that type of freedom he had growing up. Apparently his parents were hippies with careers. So they would be really supportive about his creative side. Neat I say!

So the waiter guy text me last night…. This is how the text-ersation (text conversation… I made that up right now… not bad....eh? eh?) went…

Him: hello?
Me: Hey… what’s up? How are ya?
Him: good how are you?
Me: good, thanks, did you just get out of work? (mind you it’s 11:45pm)
Him: no, chilling at a friends house, do you want to chill?
Me: Chill… when?
Him: right now
Me: Ha! Crazy! Sorry buddy I gotta get up early tomorrow..

He never wrote back. Now I wonder… could he really have thought that I was going to leave my house at practically midnight, with a guy I’ve only hung out with once? Hmmm… guess I’ll never know.

On the brightest of sides… I ran (literally) into Eric F. today. He is sooooo hot, only down side I see to this… is that he seem to be my height. GREAAATT!

Rock Climbing 101

2006-07-22T22:29:00.000-07:00

I went rock climbing today. I loved it. It was so much fun. I"ve done it before, maybe about 4 years ago... but man was it as difficult as I remember it. Let me tell you all I remember from the first time I went was how one realizes how much one weighs. You see, although you push your self up with your legs, the majority of the "traveling" is done with your upper body. Your arms and abs, get a killer work out.

We started with the "easy" wall, but let me just say, there was nothing easy about it. At my first try at it, I made it half way, when I got back down... I realized I was dripping sweat. By my fourth time around, my tank was drenched. It was a lot of fun. The one things I keep thinking about though, is how hard it was to "let go". You see when you reach the top, or you just can't go any further, you are supposed to "sit back, and let go"... this (so the Staff said) would release you cables, and let you slide down. I just COULD NOT do it. I could not just let go I would climb down, or I would slide down against the wall. It was silly... but hey... it all takes time.

Hmmm, I wonder what that says about me?

(oh, and BTW... I never made it to the top... I made it about 80% to the top.... so I am going back Tuesday....I'm determined! he he he)

Story for the day:

2006-07-20T18:29:00.000-07:00

So I am working on a project with blonde hair fiber. Well as usual when I have a pile of hair that gets thick enough so that I can't see the surface of the desk, I automatically sweep it off with my hand (usually without looking). Well today, when I was about to sweep it off, as my hand was about an inch of the table surface, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the "blonde hair" move. As my eyes adjusted themselves, my hand pulled back, and I made the connection.... the "blonde hair".... was actually a yellow spider. I screamed... no wait... I squealed, jumped my arse about five feet away, squirming and dusting my shoulders off as if to get rid of the spider (who was actually still standing on the table... Waiting), it took me a few second to calm myself down and get this guy to go kill it. I was so freaked out. I couldn't get near that table for the rest of the day.

All I have to say is.. I'm not scared of the f'-ing spider. I was just caught off guard. Had it come to me head on... I would have shown it my shoe!-- Yeah! So, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Dreams

2006-07-17T22:50:00.000-07:00

Wierd Dream:

I dreamt that I was helping a woman watch a group of kids (like a birthday party, or something), well this one little girl who was about 4 or 5 years old was playing around and fell, face down. Well there was this guy there too, who helped her sit up and but the little girl kept crying and crying and this guy couldn't calm her down. So I walked over there, and asked her to show me where it hurt. Well the little girl pointed at her shins. Her shins were both broken to the point of being disformed. So I started to calm the little girl down and told her she needed to stay sitting until I got her some ice (and called her parents). So I left her with the guy and told him to not let her get up. Well when I came back with the ice bag in hand, the little girl was playing, running around.... I quickly picked her up and said "honey, you gotta sit down. You can't run around right now" and then put the ice on both her legs. Well the little girl had such a dissapointing look in her eyes.... -And then I woke up!

Funny Dream:

I dreamt that I was running through sprinklers. I could feel the nice cold water sprinkling on my face. It was so nice and cool... I loved it. It was refreshing.

So where is the funny part you ask... ahh yes... so my bed is positioned against the wall, which puts the only window in the room, on the right side of my bed. The window is low/wide enough so that it sits at level with my bed. Well since it's been really hot here the past couple of weeks, I have slept with the window wide open and the curtain pulled back. This lets in a nice breeze through out the night and in the early morning. Well apparently, last night/early this morning, there were thunderstorms and some showers through out the area. So you see the "sprinking water" I felt... it was actual RAIN! Ha ha ha!

Phew... Non-Stop Weekend...

2006-07-16T21:35:00.000-07:00

Phew.. what a weekend. I feel like a stranger on here tonight... I'm sure the feeling will pass as I tell all my weekend stories.... so let me warn you... this might be a long post...

So, Thursday night my friends took me out to dinner... bless their little hearts. We had a great meal... even better dessert... and awesome wine. We made friends with the weighter, who apparently is on the road to becoming a fire fighter. Really nice guy... when he carded us for the wine he made a comment about how we were the same age, both born in 80. So through out dinner, he is really funny, and friendly... he kept talking about partying and what we were upt this weekend... well right after dinner he brings over one of those Special Birthday sundaes along with a couple other weighters and starts singing... nice.... it's a good thing it was dark in there, because I KNOW I turned red. Well after the dessert, he brought over the check and placed it next to me... and said "I put my number in there so we can all hang out". I thought cool... great. This helps my theory of Friend Expansion (more on that theory on another post). Anyway... I said, sure, we'll let you know what we do.

Now Friday comes along, and Amy had to watch JP so she was busy, but Ivonne, and I headed over to Manhattan beach... it was nice... warm enough to wear jeans, tank top, and flipflops and be ok. We grabed a sandwich and a drink from Starbucks, and just sat in front of the Starbucks... people watching. I love people watching... it's great!

Saturday came along... it was good too. Big BBQ with the family and friends... everything went well until my nephew (whos is 13 btw) started throwing a major tantrum. His dad was of course no where to be found... he was at the grocery store, so my other brother had to deal with him. They started screaming at each other... nice little family dram displayed... in front of my friends... and couple of co-workers. Oddly enough.. I wasn't embarassed. I just said... "when you witness this... it just means you are part of the family!" LOL A few friends and I headed to Hermosa after that for some dancing.... that was fun. I ran into a friend from High School and we met up with Jose... the weighter from the restaurant. It all went well not too bad. After that we grabbed some Jack In The Box for the late LATE night snack... and headed to bed at 3am-respectibly!

Today was good too. I slept in and was awakend by Amy's frantic call about how there was a dead bird on their front door and wanted a shovel to remove it. Her and Arminda were freeked out, and would not leave there house until someone moved that bird. I laughed... because I told her I had to take shower before I stepped outside. Well I ran a few errands and before I new it, it was at least 3 hours after Amy had called... so my mom and I drove over to their place... and helped them get rid of the bird (which btw was more like a dead finch). It was funny to see them being hosteges in their own home to a dead bird! HA! After that fiasco... I went down to Hermosa and met up with Oaktree. We had dinner at Hennesseys Tavern... good food... a little loud... but good food! It was fun, we kinda just chatted about all sorts of things. It's funny how different his neck of the woods sounds compared to mine... I"ll have to head down there some day. Oaktree I had fun. Thanks for my Birthday Dinner! We should do it again soon. :)

Well now I am off to finish laundry, and get ready for work tomorrow. Luckily?! I have a training, so it takes me from my usual work load. :)

Till the next post!

She's-uh My Birthday today.

2006-07-12T14:10:00.000-07:00

Ever watched that episode of I Love Lucy, where she is in Italy (I believe) and she is celebrating her sons birthday, who is back in the US, and celebrates it with a bunch of Italian poor kids. Well one kid make up that it's his brithday because, he wants Lucy to buy him chocolate... so then he has a gang of like ten kids also claiming to be their birthdays because they want chocolate too. So then the guilt sinks in and all the kids give their chocolate back, because they know it's not their birthday... but there is one little girl, who refuses to give up her chocolate, because it's really her birthday. So her brother tells Lucy.

(in an Italian accent)

"Hey, what dooo u no, she's-uh really hur birfday today, too".

Well, anytime there is a birthday... I always think of this episode.

ANYWAY!

Thank You Shwan… Yes, today is my birfday.

So it is official! I am 26 years old. So all though I have been feeling crappy and out of sorts all week… I’ve decided to burry those feelings deep inside, and just embrace everything 26 has to offer.

My co-workers took me out to lunch. That was nice. One of them gave me advise, I must say… I will never forget. She said, “You will never look better than you look now”. GREEEEAAAAT! ;) GREAT!

Anyway… so my mom has BBQ planned for me on Saturday. She is too cute (sometimes), she even got up early and made me breakfast. Damn I wish I got that every day. So I think that one of the reasons I’ve been a little gloomy is because every birthday I’ve had… I’ve been single. No one to make a huge fuss over me being born (other than my mom and dad), no flowers, no special dinner… you know the whole 9 yards of “special” birthday celebration. Oh well…. I guess we’ll have to see what next year brings.

So let me reflect on my 25th Year of life.

It was ok.
I laughed a lot, I cried a bit, and I (think) I grew some (metaphorically speaking, that is). I must say it has been a busy year, with recent news of a life altering change from a close friend, my aunt and uncle divorcing, and a new baby in the family… I can only hope this coming year is just a tinsy bit brighter. Maybe… one more baby? A marriage proposal… hmmm… maybe even, my aunt and uncle getting back together? We’ll see.

Oh, and Shawn… unfortunately, I start school tonight… Economics. So all though, a drink would help me get through Econ quite well, I think I will have to save it for the weekend! I might even have more than 1! Thanks again ; )

Me llaman… Ms. Kraby Pantz

2006-07-11T15:02:00.000-07:00

Yep… I’m going by Ms. Craby Pants today. Not sure what sparked it, but since this morning… I haven’t been in the most pleasant of moods. And thanks to the wonderful friends I have... they have called me on it. Thanks Heide for noticing, and for bringing it to my attention. I mean... how else would I know, if not by you telling me right?

So I have three theories as to why;
First: I’ve been getting up at 6am WITHOUT an a alarm clock. So, since I don’t need to get out of bed until 7am… I just lay in bed, wide eyed.. starring out the window for a whole hour.

Second: My brother asked me for a favor. But this favor puts me in a hard place…. (stupid family..jk)

Third: I’m turning 26!

Hmm… I don’t know which theory fits. What do you think?

I tend to shut down

2006-07-09T23:59:00.000-07:00

My dad called Friday to wish me an early Happy Birthday (my birthday is not until Wednesday). He is so good at remembering. I usually try to call him on his birthday and fathers day, but it is so hard to get a hold of him. He still lives in Guatemala, and he is remarried, so I don’t have his home number. The only number I have is his work number. Well it was nice to hear from him and I am glad he called.

It’s always weird to me how people can tell when there is something on my mind. Apparently I shut down. At least that is what both my brother and dad said. Sometime last week my brother called me at work and asked if everything was ok. I said Yeah… and asked him why… he said… “you seem quiet lately”. Now if you ask my friends, they will tell you I am mellow and quiet, so I’m now sure how much quieter I get when the wheels in my head are turning but, then when my dad called, he also asked what was wrong. And again, I said nothing… why? And he said you just sound quiet.

Well I guess to confess… my truck is running weird, it’s trembling, and I imagine it will be a couple of grand to get it fixed, I’m turning 26 in a few days. Rowsie needs to go to the vet, she has some hot spots on her paws, and a goopy eye, and of course, I don’t have the time and her vet is closed on Saturday and Sunday. Did I mention I’m turning 26? I invited my cousins from Guatemala over to visit in December… and I haven’t started saving at all. Oh and did I mention I’m turning 26? (I’m afraid I’m getting old).

I know… I know… It will all work it’s self out. But sometimes, it’s hard not to worry about it.

Random Moments of Memories

2006-07-06T21:38:00.000-07:00

For the third time this week, I have been pre-occupied with a task and a random memory pops into my head. Usually it's been a smell or a certain feel, but the past three times, it has been randomness, no smell, no feel... nothing that relates to my memory in any way shape or form.

I was sitting in my desk earlier working on my notes when out of no where I remembered this random moment where I was walking down a narrow street in Spain, I can't remember the name of the street, but I remembered the buildings were tall, dark, and muggy looking. I snapped out of it within a few seconds and "shook" it off.

What is that? What is that that makes one remember or revert back to a certain time or place in our lives?

Good Times... Good Times

2006-07-04T17:24:00.000-07:00

What are good times for if not to remeniss and laugh at.... right?

I lost my phone this weekend. I hate losing my phone. I've only lost it one other time... it's such a pain... to have to re establish your phone list... your restaurant list, your emergency numbers... my reminders... oh man this is going to be a pain. I hope someone is honest enough to return it... lets cross our fingers!

Well I had an ok weekend... one memorable night...So to spare you of all the detailed boardom that would develop this story, I will leave you with bullet points:

Arrive at Amys at 9:30pm Monday night
Finished first Smirnoff Iced by 10pm
Half way through 2nd Smirnoff and waiting for Van Cab on the curb by 10:30
Met and shared a cab with Steve, Trouble, and Woody by 10:45
11pm arrive at Hermosa
11:15 get into Sangrias
11:30 get drink #1 and dance
Between 12 and 1:30am... drink #2, and 3, dance a few more times... we ran into Steve Trouble, and Woody... I exchanged numbers with Mark, and closed Sangria down. Walked out with Ross while Amy and him exchanged numbers..
1:45ish we ran into Trouble, Woody, and Steve then walked together to hail a cab.
2:15 Wooddy found us a Cab... Trouble threw a tantrum so he got left behind
2:30 arrive back at Amys house... Woody made more drinks and we all lounged, and laughed.
3:30 I realized my phone was gone...

I think trouble took it... but that is just my theory!

Funny Moment

2006-07-01T22:44:00.000-07:00

It has been a busy couple of days. I took Friday off because I wanted to relax and take it easy, lay out by the pool with the dogs and maybe even squeeze in dip in the pool. Well I was way wrong. I ended up cleaning, doing laundry, and just doing the small things that I don't normally get to do. I also went to a wine bar in Santa Monica called Bodega Wine Bar. It was nice, I finally found a wine that I like, Riesling Dr. L. It was soooo good. I'm on a hunt to find out where they sell it. I believe it is a white wine. Anyway... the place was nice... it had a Sex In The City look to it.. Oh and it was damn hot in there. I swear by midnight I was so ready to split.

So it hit me today. I think I might be getting to old to be baby sitting. Seriously. I was sitting there babysitting two little girls earlier... and I thought... I'm going to be 26! I can't babysit anymore... really! I just can't! :) Well, we'll see how long that lasts.

I did have a funny moment with the six year old I was watching. All the female readers will get a kick out of this.

So we are having dinner and this is how the conversation went-

Girl: I want my neighbor Charles to come over

Me: No Charles can't come over.... wait isnt Charles your crush

Girl: (smirks) Yes

Me: Oh... then yeah.. he still can't come over

Girl: He told me he was moving

Me: Where is he moving to?

Girl: Oh he's not moving, he just lied to me, but I still like him... even if he lies

Me: Oh

Damn... it starts so young!

Damn people and their paranoia...

2006-06-28T21:08:00.000-07:00

So we get this e-mail at work addressed to our whole group, from our Administrative Assistant asking if anyone is going to be off on X week, if so, to e-mail her back with exact days. So I open the e-mail and don't think much about it. I figure, they (the Execs) are planning an update (as they normally do and have done), so I brush it off, and continue with work. Well, next thing I know one of my co-workers comes over to my cube, all distressed, then she goes off saying that she believes the e-mail is related to lay offs. Now come the F on... Seriously... Must everything be about lay offs?

Now, I know the company I work for is infamous for laying off people. I understand that.... But why the need to start a hype, and to get people all railed up for?

I don't think I will ever understand.

I do know... I will keep my positive note... And if they lay me off (lets cross our fingers that doesn't happen)... I will just keep moving forward...

Good News/Bad News

2006-06-27T20:05:00.000-07:00

Bad News: Ok, so my shoes had to go back. I put them on this morning, walked down stairs, fed the cats, and by the time I got to my car, I realized... they are way too high.
Good News: I exchanged them for a pair of Jack Purcells. The last pair I had I wore thin by swiming in them when my brother pushed me off the Jet Ski in the lake. Hmmm.. good times, good times!

My New Jack Purcells

Good News: While at the grocery store, my co-worker and I felt generous, so we decided to buy cup cakes for our department.
Bad News: I had three cupcakes today, in a span of... mmm about 4 hours.

Good News: It is 8pm, the sun is still out, it is about 80 degrees, and I have the option dipping into the pool.
Bad News: I can't take a dip in the pool (for a few odd reasons, wich will take too long to explain).

All in all, not a bad day... We'll see how the rest of the week goes.

Freaky Cats!

2006-06-26T11:05:00.000-07:00

Happy Monday!

What a weekend!
Friday night was the first night I spent at the PV house. This is the house that has a pool and an ocean view from their back yard. The night wasn’t too bad… I fell asleep on the couch and was wakened at 4am by one of the cats meowing. It kept meowing all f’ing morning… finally at 6am I moved up to the spare room and crashed there, hoping the cat would stay behind…. Well unfortunately (for me) the cat did not want to meow alone… so it followed me and meowed some more… eventually I was able to block out the noise and fell fast asleep. Next thing I know, it was 10:30am and as I am opening my eyes… I have three cats laying around me… starring. JUST starring at me! It was the freakiest thing ever. Wes (my dog) will do that, but he usually tries to sneak a lick or a pat in, these cats just starred… nothing more… nothing less. I don’t mind cats… but I must say… cats are definitely different! Honey and Riley (the dogs) are outside dogs, so while I am there they just lean against the sliding glass doors with sad little eyes waiting for me to let them in… ugh… they are so dang cute… especially the yellow lab. I have such a soft spot for big dogs.

Well other than that the weekend was good. Saturday and Sunday weather was rather gloomy, but still hot. I went over to Universal City Walk again, to buy a dress I wanted. I couldn’t find another Quicksilver store around my neighborhood so I had to budge and drive all the way there, and pay ten bucks for parking… well, anyway, I got my dress… it’s nothing special, just a grey v-neck jersey dress, the kind you wear over jeans. I love it though, it so comfy! I also bought some shoes… wedged heel… my favorite. I don’t think I can walk in regular heels anymore. Oh well!

I’ll try and post pictures of the dogs/cats and my new shoes!

(Yawn) I'm so tired!

2006-06-21T16:57:00.000-07:00

I’ve been really tired all day long…. Since the minute I got up this morning, all I’ve wanted to do is, go back to bed. Not sure what is going on… I’m blaming it on the weather, although it gets to about mid to high 70’s during the middle of the day… the mornings are bloody gloomy and a bit chilly too. It’s an awful way to start your day!

So, I will be house/dog sitting this weekend and all of next week. It’s a really nice house with a pool… so I am looking forward to that. Their dogs are super sweet, and they jump in the pool when they please…. So this weekend I will be lounging by the pool, with a drink in hand… all weekend long!

I take a final tomorrow night, and then I am off for two weeks. I’m very excited about that!

Lazy ass dog & kids... Im just jelous

2006-06-20T15:36:00.000-07:00

Monday was a good day. Work was good, the gym was good, and dinner was great. I went to dinner with Amy and Ivonne, to celebrate Ivonne’s 26th birthday. We had a great time. We went to P.F. Changs… for some great Chinese food, and desserts… had a few glasses of wine too. We hadn’t had a good dinner like that in a while. We reminisced, we made new pacts, and we just laughed all through dinner.

Today wasn’t too bad either. Maynor had court today… the DA has put in for a second extension so they have more time to put their case together. I’m not sure how this will turn out, but I do know I’m trusting in God to get Maynor, (and us) through it.

So I went home for lunch today, to watch a little tube, and just chill out on my couch… and this is what I found.

Lazy ass dog, I say… he is supposed to be guarding the house. Then I took a picture, gave him a big hug and kiss, and opened the window so he could get a nice breeze… yes he is spoiled, but he is old… and cute. So I caught some I Love Lucy... I love that show, it remind me of high school, only because during the summers... that was the first show I would wake up to... at noon. UGH... I wish I had Summer Vacation again... they should issue Summer Vacations for Adults too. Anyway, I knew there was a huge problem when I was driving back to work and while passing the local elementry school, all they kids were running (literally) away from school. Punk Asses!

Hiking and then some...

2006-06-18T22:45:00.000-07:00

What a great weekend, it turned out to be. On Friday night, I went to dinner with Ivonne. Our usual place, with our usual meals... except this time, our usual server, wasn't there. We missed him, I'll have to tell him that next time we go. After dinner, as I planned, we headed over to Grifith Park to check out the hiking route, and the directions worked out well.... Well on the way home Ivonne says, out of no where... let go to Universal City Walk... UCW is a long strip of stores, restaurants, clubs, movie theaters, and street performers.... so I said why not... so we went there... we walked around for a few hours and headed home at around midnight. It was great... the air was warm, their was enough of a crowd to make it lively, but not enough to be overwhelmed.

On Saturday, as scheduled, I picked up Ivonne, and Juvi around 945am (I was running a little late) and headed for the hike. We met up with a few friends and started the hike, right at 10:30... we went up for a about a mile, and were exhausted... mind you it was about 90 degrees out, it's a good thing we had water. Well we made it to "Dantaes View" (which is about 3/4 of the way up... and decided it was enough hiking for the day... After the hike we went to a deli had some lunch and just hung there for a few hours watching the USA vs Italy game... you know I found out that during the World Cup... the teams are not eliminated when the lose the match, rather their elimination is dependant on how many point their performance earns.... it's wierd... I guess.

Today, was good too. Laid by the pool for a few hours, even taught JoJee how to swim for a little bit. Afterwards we had a carne azada for my brother, in honor of Fathers Day... he was appreciative.... Now I am doing laundry and getting ready for tomorrow. I love weekends like this.... they make the 5 day work week, all worth while.

My presentation...

2006-06-15T21:17:00.000-07:00

Today was a better day. I still couldn't shake the blah feeling in the morning, but it was all in all a good day. I like my job, so it makes it easy to get through the day.

My presentation was tonight. I hate to bragg, but we kicked ass! We really did. We knew the right thing to say and when to say it, and we had an answer to every question the professor had... I love it when projects work out that way. It was still a little hard to get up in front of the class... but I gotta admit... it's getting better.

Well I am sooo excited tomorrow is Friday. I don't have any great plans, but I'm just glad we are nearing the weekend. Tomorrow is a short day (as every Friday is), we are off at 1pm, and the weather here has been beautiful... high 70's and today I belive I noticed my trucks reader at 80 degrees... so after work tomorrow... I will put a few loads of cloth in the washer... and head to the pool! aww... gotta love Cali!

(Cali... I wouldn't trade you... well, unless I get a mega career move offer).

Oh, I've got a hiking trip planned with a bunch of friends over in Griffith Park... we'll see how that goes. I belive (because I have never been) it is a short and sweet hike. Maybe I will check it out tomorrow night, so I (at least) look like I know what I am doing. LOL

Being low... is a blow!

2006-06-14T22:28:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling a little low today. Not sure what the heck, but I've been on the verge of tears all day.... I finally broke during Jo Jee's ballet recitle. Jo Jee.. (short for Jordan) is my cousins daughter.... so I think, that makes her my second cousin... or maybe just a cousin... well regardless....she is now 3.5 years old. She is my princess, my shinning star... the one person that I can think about... and an instant smile grows. So I think seeing her out there in her little liatard, ballet slippers, and big fluffy pig tails makes me realize how much she has grown and how fast time has flown.

More and more.. I guess because of Jo Jee and her now having a little sister (Aubrey)... I want my own kids. Ever since I can remember I have known that the one thing I would be natrually good at would be to be a mother. I love kids, always have, and most likely... always will. I love their innocense, their needyness, and their determination.

It's funny, I think it all started to hit me bad, this weekend. We (my family and I) got together for Courtneys 10 B-day party... well at one point Jordan started hanging out with me... and of course I don't mind it at all... but what totally got me was that where ever I went, she followed, always lightly clinging to my pants... well at one point it got a little crowded, and a few of the adults kept running into her, so I swept her up into my arms... and I guess her (over protective) grandmother saw and made her way over to me with her arms extended to take Jordan from me.... well, oviously if Jordan wanted to go, I would have passed her on to Grandma... but instead of reaching her arms back to grandma... Jordan turned away, swung both her arms around me and rested her chin on my shoulder. I loved it.... I couldn't get enought of it.

I know its small, and maybe even a little rediculous but man.. I do love that feeling.

I expect one day (hopefully soon) I will have that opportunity, but for now, I will just enoy my little Jo Jee!

Screenworks Meeting...

2006-06-13T18:49:00.000-07:00

So Heide, Dara, and I went to meet with the people at Screenworks, to get quotes for the Tees, Onezies, and Tanks we want made with our logo.

Now I know I haven't written much about this.. but I guess with my school and work and Dara and Heide having kids and all, I wasn't expecting to get much occomplished... but I made it work.

So the three of us have been playing around with the idea of developing our own "brand". Well for the past few months we have been brainstorming about what it would look like, we finally had it done and figured one out that we all agreed on... but taking it to the next level was the hard part. Like I said earlier, with them having kids, and me being swamped... we couldn't get our asses to a printing place.

Well this past weekend, I made it a goal to get some onezies printed, as a draft, to see what (if anything) we would have to change. Well much to our surprise, they turned out really nice. Actually, they kick ass. But of course I'm being bias.

So like I said, we met with the people at Screenworks, and it turns out, if we divi up all our charges by 3... all garmets, materials, and adjustments can be made for well under $100. Im stoked, bucause I really do think we might have something here...

Well other than that.. nothing too exciting the past couple of days.... actually my "friend"... the one with the uncle... well I talked to her and I asked her what did she end up telling her uncle... and she had the nerve to tell me she never called him. I gotta admit I am a little bothered.... actually a bit irritated too. I acused her of being a compulsive lier. Trust me I speak the truth. I also told her that if she didn't tell him, I would! The next time I see him.... and I would be completely blunt about it too. No BS... flat out.. she lied, and manipulated the whole cituation. Tell me.... what does one do with "friends" like that.

Thursday High

2006-06-10T09:48:00.000-07:00

Thursday turned out to be an interesting day. I used some MAJOR problem-solving skills while working on the database and got about 99% of my problems worked out. My group and I were due to meet with the professor to talk about the databse at 6:30pm, and knowing that we still had some kinks to smooth out I decided to leave work at 4:30pm. I expected to make it at school by 5:30... boy was I wrong... on the way to school.... I hit some major traffic... we were at a dead stop... notice the nice bright red brake lights.

So anyway... in this particular class there are only two groups... ours, and group 1. Well group one decided (and kinda demanded) to go first. We didn't mind, because, honestl, we needed added time... Well the professor didn't sound too impressed with their database. Appraently some of their information was incorrect in the first phase of it, which caused the rest of the database to be incorrect. Well (as bad as this sounds) I was a little relieved... because I truly thought our database was crappy. Well regardless, by the time we met with the professor we were as put together as we were going to be... as we were explaining it to him, he seemed impressed, he told us we had a good thing going. (I was stoked) well there was one problem I couldnt figure out, but when I presented it to him, he couldn't either (that felt good too). Well 30 minutes later, he still couldn't figure it out... so we gave him a copy of the databse and he said he would figure it out and send it back to us so we can start working on our Power Point. I was soo soooo relieved. Well we finished up at like 10:15pm... and when I got on the freeway... I hit more traffic... gees... getting home at 10ish ususally takes me (at most) 15 minutes.... tonight... it took me 45.... what the heck... and again... pretty little red lights. OK so I can't up load the pictures... but trust me it sucked to be in traffic...but knowing that I really knew what I was doing in MS Access made it all ok! :)

Blah... continues

2006-06-07T10:06:00.000-07:00

Tuesday turned out to be just as bad as Monday. I called out sick in the morning, because late Monday I got a really bad migrane followed by some bad cramping. I didn’t eat anything out of the ordinary for dinner, so I’m not sure what caused it. Regardless I spent all day Tuesday in the bathroom… I was finally able to keep a bowl of chicken noodle soup down by around 4pm… Being sick is the worse. I hate not going to work, and I hate that feeling of being behind on your work/school work because of it.

Anyway… to top things off, my friends uncle called. I let any number I didn’t recognize go straight to voice mail, because I didn’t want to deal with it. I felt shitty already, and talking to him was only going to make me feel shitty-ER! Well, I kept thinking up scenarios as to how I could get out of this, without looking like a bitch, going on a date, AND the feel of guilt. Well after thinking it through I’ve decided to just make my “friend” call him and tell him I am seeing someone at the time. I mean, heck she is the one who started this bull shit, so, who better to nip it in the butt. Right? RIGHT!

You know, I am rethinking this “friend” at the moment. You see, this is the third time she has pulled shit like this. The first one was the stripper intervention, check out “My Fear” post in May, and the second was when we went somewhere (where I can’t remember) and she told me it was just going to be her and a few friends… not her boyfriend (I have nothing against her boyfriend, it’s just that when she is around him they are all over each other, so not liking to feel like the 3rd wheel, I choose not to go), well he ended up coming, and as predicted… they were all over each other!

Well I’m back at work today. I still have a slight headache, but hopefully it will slowly go away. I will update as soon as I talk to my friend and tell her the above!

UPDATE

So I did it. I called my friend and told her straight out, I couldn't call her uncle. I thought about it, and thought about, but there was no way I could call him back with out leading him on, or being able to play it off later. So like I said, I told her I couldn't call him and that she needed to call him and tell him that I started seeing someone this weekend... or something along those lines. Well her automatic response was "but he thinkgs you gave me permission to give him your number" I said... I didn't so she needed to figure this out on her own, but one thing was for sure... I was not calling him. So I think she was mad.... oh well... she will get over it. :)

My body is feeling better though... I couldn't run my usual distance tonight, so I opted for some light weights and lunges...I know my legs will be hurting tomorrow.

Im getting super frustrated with this whole access thing... sorry I keep bitching about it, but fuck it's killing me. Just when I get something figured out... I feel like I have to start all over again. UGH... I think what makes it a lot harder is that this is a "team project'... and well my team members' knowlege of Access is less than mine... so you can imagine... there is now one guiding us... plus everyone I know that knows about access is cuincidently out of town... heffers!

Monday blah..

2006-06-05T13:51:00.000-07:00

Ugh.. It's Monday. I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Actually, I can't really say that... my bed is against the wall.

Anyway... I couldn't sleep last night, the last time I looked at the clock was around 12:30am, mind you I turned everything off at 11:30, because I was "tired". Well this morning I woke up to the warm feeling of Wess' (my dog) hot breath on my forehead. Not sure what he was doing, but thank God he did it or who knows what time I would have gotten up at.

8:15am and as I was walking in to work I ran into a co-worker and I said "running late?", he said "yeah, kids... they take forever, you too I see". I said, "yeah, Mondays are hard"... then as we went our separate ways, I began to think... it's not just Mondays. It's Tuesdays, and sometimes Wednesdays, and Thursdays too. Not Fridays, though. I'm usually on time on Fridays. I think it has to do with the fact that Fridays are short days. We get off at 1pm.

regardless... I have had zip energy today. Plus I woke up with the kink in my neck again. Im not sure what is going on... and I don't want to go to the doctor, because I'm sure she already thinks of me as a hypocondriac... I figure I will give it a week... see if it gets better or worse.

Im going to the gym tonight, so hopefully that will energize me for the evening... Till then.. I will just drag my arse around.

UPDATE:

So, I went to the gym, and I felt alright, but now I feel shitty. I have to blame it on my friend though. So her uncle has been inquiring about me through her, and asked for my number. So she tells him that she would run it through me and get back to him. So my friend and I talk about it, and I tell her I would rather not, because he is her uncle, and the last thing I want is to feel awkward around her and her family. So all day, she teases me and tells me she is going to give him my number... and I just laugh and tell her not to. So we have lunch together, and as I was heading back to work I clearly tell her... don't be giving out my number!

So two hours later, she calls me back and tells me... I gave him your number. And that is how my day was shot. You see it's not that I don't like him or find him unattrative... actually I don't remember him at all... but my point is that I really don't want it to get awkward between he and I and her family and I... which I know now, it will. Hell, it already is because now, I don't want to answer my cell at all.

UGH! I'm going to bed. I just keep getting more tense as I type... fuck.. there goes that kink in my neck! :)

Weekend Highlights

2006-06-04T18:10:00.000-07:00

As my weekend nears the end... I can't help but think, how much I love them.

Friday, I went out to dinner with friends (as planned). Amy, had arranged a date via Match.com and didn't want to go alone. So she asked if Ivonne and I would go with her... and just hang out on the sidelines at the club while she mingled with her date. If he was a bad date... she would figure out a way to end the night early and club with us... and if he was a good date... then at least she knew Ivonne and I had eachother to club with. Well her date was a nice guy... fairly easy going, but his flaw was he is a pot head. I have to give him credit, though, for being honest and letting her know upfront. Well while Amy and her date danced and had a few drinks, I dragged Ivonne with me to the local ColdStones (ice cream store), I'd been craving Ice cream since last week. Anyway, after we each got our scoop of sugar, refusing to go back into the club, we sat out on one of the benches on the strip to people watch. People watching is so much fun... if you haven't done it, you really should try. Ok... so back to the story, so as we sat there, first we saw three girls, who looked like they had just turned 21, play fighting with each other. Throwing their clutch purses at one another as they would kick or swing there arms to try and hit the other... I think... they wanted attention... I could be wrong. Then as Ivonne and I were checking out a really hot guy, a random girl (somewhat wasted) popped out of no where in front of us and had the following conversation:

Wasted Girl (WG): You girls are so beautiful. I, I mean, my boyfriend, and I were wondering if you would like to fool around with us. (ends with a hazy look)

Me: (with a smirk) Oh, sorry honey, not tonight, we are a little tired.

Ivonne: (with a bright ass smile) Yeah, besides, we are waiting for a friend.

WG: (still with a hazy look) Oh, Ok. too bad. But if you change your mind, we will be waiting overthere. (points at a drunk ass guy sitting on a cement slab)

And let me say, she/they continued to sitting on the slab for a good 2o minutes, until, (I assume) they figured we weren't going to budge, and walked away... mind you as they walked off she turns around smiles, and waved good bye at us.

Now as exciting and fun as that sounds, I have one more... so at the particular strip we were at, the clubs and bars close at 1:30am, so around 1:15-1:20 they do "last call". So anyways, around 1:20 a random guy comes over and asks if he could sit with us.... and this is how that went;

Guy: Can sit with you guys?

Me: Well we are waiting for a friend.

Guy: Oh, is it a boyfriend/husband? I mean I don't want to offend him or get my ass kicked.

Ivonne: Um.. no its just a friend.

Guy: Oh, cool then, I'll sit. So my friends and I wanted to buy you girls drinks.

Me: Well thanks, but you can't drink outside.

Guy: Well no, not outside, inside the club. Where are you guys from?

Me: Redondo, you?

Guy: Inglewood... the hood

Ivonne: (Bursts out laughing)

Guy: What? whats wrong with Inglewood?

Ivonne: nothing... I'm just laughing.

Guy: So, you guys come here often?

Me: (laughing, at the line he just said) Not really, just when we are board. You?

Guy: No, this is my second time. The first time I came I got locked up.

Me: Locked up? Yeah... hmmm... (speachless)

Guy: Yeah... my friends really want to buy you guys drinks...

Meanwhile Amy calls, to see where we are at, so we tell her and she head over with her date.

Me: Oh darn, here come our friends... Maybe next time.

Ivonne: (laughing histarically at God knows what)

Guy: Oh... ok.. thanks for the chat.

Ok nice, guy... but seriously... did he really think, him telling us about getting locked up the fist time he was there would be a nice pick up line?

I tell you I still get surpirsed at the lovely people you meet at, around, near or by clubs. It's still fun though... I think it's even more fun when you are not drunk. :)

Fridays are great

2006-06-02T11:53:00.000-07:00

It's Friday. What else can be greater? I am ready for the weekend. Tuesday through Thursday, have been the most jam packed exhausting days I've had yet. This database I have to build for school is really taking the best of me. On my way to class last night, while I was in my car, as I started to back out of my parking spot I went to look over my right shoulder, and all of a sudden I heard somthing pop. I automatically raised my right shoulder and tucked my chin in, and i couldn't move... it was painful. I sat there for a few minutes before I dared to release my shoulder and neck, knowing that when I did.. the pain would be greater. I released slowly... and with each inch released... a sharp pain would shoot to the back of my head, and to my shoulder blade. The closer I got to releasing chin and shoulder to its regular position, the easier it got. When I finally made it its regular position, my whole right side of my neck and shoulder blade were soar... actually they still are... mainly my neck. I'm traumatized now, because everytime I look over to my right side, I feel like I need to turn my whole body.

Well enough of my pain. A.J. (Aubrey Johnson) was born yesterday morning. At 8:30am, she is 7.6 lbs. she has the cutest fatest cheeks you just want to squeeze. Big wide eyes, and the cutes poutiest lips imaginable... Yes.. I know... my opinion is bias, as she is my cousin.. but dang it she is so f'ing cute. Jordan (Aubreys big sister) was really excited too... Of course I don't think she realizes that AJ is here to stay! But regardless.. they are my two princesses... until I have my own that is! Mom is doing well. Too well if you ask me. She wen't into labor at 3:30 in the morning, dialated at 2cm.... by 8am she was fully dialated... the doctor came in asked her to push, and by the third push... Aubrey was born. Lucky girl... I only hope it is that easy for me!

Well... although I have a shit load of HW to do this weekend... there is no doubt, I will be making the most of it.

I will be visitng AJ... in her house, going out to dinner with girlfriends tonight, and maybe a dip in the pool tomorrow!

A couple of pics from the wedding...

2006-05-31T23:00:00.000-07:00

5 Questions governing my life...as you read...

2006-05-31T22:30:00.000-07:00

Why do I need to learn how to develop an Access Database, when my concentration in Project Management?
Would a date with a guy 15 years my senior be foolish? (I am 25 and he is 40)
When and how will my life change?
Why do people let jelousy run their life?
Why is it such a pain to get my arse to the gym, but yet feel so good when I walk out?

Three Day Weekends...

2006-05-29T20:30:00.000-07:00

I LOVE three day weekends, just when you are getting through Sunday... BAM, you realize, there is one more day of fun and games.... and to make things even better, your up-coming work week, is a four day week! I love it.

Well I couldn't have asked for a better three days off. Saturday, I spent the day shopping. I hate shopping... at the mall at least. I am one of those people that when I need something, I know exactly where to look for it, and when I go to buy it, I go straight to get it, pay, and out the door. Well the only reason I didn't mind this shopping event, was because it worked out perfectly. I had a wedding to attend on Sunday (I Know, I know... who gets married on a Sunday right?), well I needed to get a dress and heels, because as I mentioned I rarely shop, so the clothe I have are jeans, tanktops, pumas, adidas... nothing too flashy, nothing too fashionable. Anyway, I was afraid that shopping for a dress, was going to be the end of me. Fortunately, it was not. I went to Macys on Saturday at about noon, tried on about 5 different dresses, and by 1:30... I had found a dress. Needless to say, I was a happy girl. This left me with the shoes. Now a sad fact, was that the "dressy" heels I own, were last worn for my highschool graduation... which was about 7 years ago... egh! What can I say, when I party, I definitely, don't wear heels!

Well after a few hours, I found some nice "dressy" heels at Nordstrom. So this left me with LEARNING HOW TO WALK IN HEELS! Let me just point something out to all the fellas out there... you do not know how hard it is to be a women. Seriously. Leaving aside, the pain we will (most likely) go through to bare children... we ALSO have to walk in heels. And (although I can't speak on baring children) I CAN say, heels hurt like bitch!

Which brings me to Sunday... the wedding... after spending a couple hours straightening my hair, and what not, I slipped the dress on, brushed some blush on my cheeks, and glossed my lips for the night. Not to sound conceded, but I have to say, I clean up pretty well. Now please understand that all my hard work to look good, was for the main purpose of a self confidante boost. You see this particular wedding, was of a good friend of mine who is also Guatemalan (Central American), and a well know fact is that about, oh 99.99999% of Central Americans are about 5'ft. tall... no greater.... which puts me (5'10ft. and with heels, well over 6'ft.) the tallest one there... (not excluding the guys). So I truly was there for the celebration. And it was a great wedding, steak and lobster, salad, pasta, good cake and great music. What else can you ask for?

Monday was even better. I did nothing! Ok I take it back. I laid out by the pool for a few hours, swam a little with my 3 year old cousin, and then did laundry... but it was still... a great day.

And now... work. It should be a nice short week... :)

Co- Dependency... A bad thing!

2006-05-25T08:23:00.000-07:00

And it's Thursday. I can't believe how fast this week has passed. I've been swamped with school work, mainly because I left too many assignments for the last minute. What can I say, I work better under pressure... sometimes. OH and I'm also a procrastinator.

More and more, I feel the need to move out. I live with my mother, 3 older siblings, a 13 year old nephew and four dogs (one is mine). Yes we have a full house. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not there by choice. You see, we live in a nice, safe neighborhood, and if I were to move out, the rest of them would not be able to afford the rent, leading them to have to move. So this is where my conscious come in (damn it). I would feel bad, if my nephew had to change schools, and have to attend a bad neighborhood. He wouldn't have the freedom he gets now, where he can play in the front yard, or walk over to the park, a few blocks away.

All in all I think the major problem is we (my siblings and I) are so co-dependent of each other. We are, in a sense, living in a "marriage". Any decision we make, weather it be financial, or professional, effects the other greatly. Which in turn, is a bad thing.

I think I have the hardest time with it, because I am a bit anal when it comes to my finances, my credit, and reputation. I balance my checkbook, I save a little every pay check, I pay may bills on time, I work hard, study harder, and still manage to squeeze in some fun. I set goals, and I accomplish them. But when one of my sibs enters a hardship, they come to me for help. I wouldn't mind it, but sometimes, I end up getting screwed. Whether they don't pay me in full, or it takes them forever to pay.

I do have a plan though. I expect to make a few grand more once I finish my BA, which in turn, would give me the ability to pay out "mother" support. This will free up my finances and would lead me to be able to buy a condo... or something small.

GOAL!

2006-05-21T22:35:00.000-07:00

I went to see the movie Goal! yesterday... it wasnt too bad. Definately a chick flick... but for my lady friends out there... all I have to proove it... is the followoing pics.

Enough said? I think so!

My fear...

2006-05-21T12:41:00.000-07:00

For as long as I can remember I have had a fear of strippers. In the occasional birthday party, or even a bachelorette party, the minute I find out a stripper has been hired, I know, I won't show up. Call me wussy, or even a nerd.. I just don't care for them, I don't have one exact answer for it, I just know they gross me out.

Well last night I think my friend planned some sort of intervention (I could have kicked her ass). Well, she invited me over for her cousins bachelorette party, and knowing full well how I feel about them, she neglected to tell me, they had hired 3... yes THREE strippers to come. Of course I didn't find this out until the first stripper walked in...

I tell you though, it still didn't work. I still don't like them, and I still get grossed out. I guess I just don't find anything attractive about a guy, waxed from head to toe, dancing and rubbing up against women with a g-string on. egh!

D is for disaster

2006-05-18T17:04:00.000-07:00

Phew... what a day it has been. One disaster after another. It has been major overload at work, because we are in the prime of producing samples for our upcoming line reviews next week, I have a stack of sample I need to get ready... also, I am so behind in school work because of those five days I took off for Hawaii.... and to add to the chaos, my aunt is visiting from out of the country.

The hardest disaster yet was my HW issues. I started this database for school earlier today... and through my breaks, and lunch time I completed it.... but when it came to up loading it to submit on the school website, I couldn't find the damn database.... I checked every where, temp files, removable memory stick, I even searched using the "updated..." field... I think I found it... UGH. I just dont see why I need extensive data base knowlege, when my concentration is in Project Manager.

Oh well!

I am pealing like crazy from the bad sunburn I got. It's also begin to itch... I tell you it's quite a site me walking down the halls at work with skin pealing off and me scratching my belly and forearms.... I am sure TC will fall for me in no time! :)

Positive Note: Tomorrow is a short day.... :)

Hawaii 2006

2006-05-16T22:07:00.000-07:00

Waikiki Beach, May 2006
Photo by F. Gonzalez (me)

Awww Hawaii... it was beautiful. It was great. It was awesome!
I relaxed, all day... every day and spent most of my days out on the beach. I didn't read, I didn't check e-mail, I didn't even watch TV... Ok, I'm lieing... I couldn't miss part 1 of the season finale of Grays Anatomoy.... did anyone watch it? It was SOOOOOO good. We squeeled so loud at the end... that our hotel room "neighbor" pounded on the wall, to get us to shut up. It the funiest thing ever... after the pounding, all four of us (grown women) froze, starred at each other and started laughing... good times, good times!

I am off...

2006-05-09T21:50:00.000-07:00

I am off to Hawaii!

Monday Facts…

2006-05-09T09:23:00.000-07:00

I woke up super late. 7:30am… mind you, I am scheduled to be at work at 8:00am. Yeah… I made it in at 8:10. Not Bad... eh? eh?

At lunch I ran over to the mall to get my eye brows threaded, and while the woman was doing them, I could smell the perfume she had (apparently) rubbed on her wrist. It smelled really good, it was Burberry… so far the only perfume I will buy and wear is Lacost, but Burberry might just make it on to my shelf!

I ran into a co-worker at the mall later that night. She is really nice, but is one of those older woman who can talk your ear to death… without you saying a word.

I am SO ready for Hawaii. I’m packed, and ready for a week of R&R!

Kelly Clarkson? Maybe not today!

2006-05-04T16:43:00.000-07:00

I tend to be fairly easy going… I don’t pay too much attention to detail, I am all about exploring, and learning from your experiences, and when there is a problem, instead of wasting time scrutinizing and finger pointing the cause, it’s better to look ahead and develop a solution. Well, this all became a little hazy last night. Don’t worry, I still kept my cool!

So, seeing as how I am getting ready to vacation next week, I wanted to do something cool, and different to my hair. So I decided to go ahead and do the Kelly Clarkson look… with a about 2 shades darker… (Yeah, I know, accident waiting to happen).

Well I went Tuesday, with pictures, in hand to get the job done. So the hair dresser (HD) starts off really well. She shows me a few swatches and totally sounds like she knows what she is doing, (I mean, this is her job… right?). So she starts coloring away. 1.5 hours later… she washes off the color… and vuala … I am left with platinum, blond highlights over dark hair. –I was good though. I kept my cool, and told her she needed to darken it. So here we go again. She put a “toner” to tone down the blonde, and 1 hour later… I am faced with pale, yellow high lights. –Again… I kept my cool, I figured… it is what it is… let’s just fix it. Well I tell her again, it needs to be darker. So here we again… (you know.. some say 3^rd time is the charm… I say.. HA!). Well she “tones” it some more. And another hour later… and now 9:30pm I am left sporting nice pale pale yellow high lights. –So of course, being that it’s almost 10pm, I’m exhausted, she is exhausted, and the salon manager is glaring at me… Well I tell her… let me sleep on it, and if I still don’t like it tomorrow morning, I will call you.

Well needless to say, I was back there next evening. You see, once I saw my hair in actual day light… I realized… it wasn’t pale yellow, it was green. Apparently, when blonde coloring is mixed with certain chemicals… it turns hair green… So anyway, she starts to “fix it” again… tones it… tones it some more, and when we are done… 1 hour later… I have nice beautiful, auburn high lights… and again, this is not what I wanted… So I finally I said… just color it all dark brown. I’m tired, my hair is going to fall off if I keep doing this, (and although it sounded pleasing, not to have to worry about coloring, I opt not to be bald).

SO… 8 hours and $140.00 later, my hair color is the same color I walked in with.

My lesson learned you ask? Patience is a virtue!

Mixed Feelings

2006-05-01T22:31:00.000-07:00

A Day Without The Immigrant!?!?

The Count down has begun

2006-04-30T22:40:00.000-07:00

9 days left, till I get leid! :)

Lazy Day

2006-04-28T15:42:00.000-07:00

Today was a lazy day. I had a pretty chilled day at work. I've got a few things lined up for tomorrow, but today, I am just going to chill.

Bring Your Child To Work?

2006-04-27T21:34:00.000-07:00

So, who ever thought of "bring your child to work day" should be shot and hung. Ok... ok... maybe not hung... but maybe shot! No really. I like kids, but man having kids running around your work area all day... simply helps get NOTHING accomplished. Really. So everyone decides to bring their children today. Now, the age group that was "invited" were 6 through 15... so tell my why there were 3 and 4 year old, needy little rug rats crying and whinning for their nap. It's funny... but it sucked. Plus I had like six 5 year olds in my cubicle... FUN? Maybe.... I figured out... I enjoyed them more when I got them to do stuff for me. He he...

Finalmente!

2006-04-26T23:23:00.000-07:00

Finalmente... my face has begun to clear up. With a little help from some prescription meds (compliments of Dr. Nowiki), I am no longer strutting what looked like the face of pre-teen gril about to hit puberty! I'm enjoying it.

When enough, is still not enough!

2006-04-25T19:21:00.000-07:00

When is enough really enough? It's so hard to pinpoint, simply because everything has different means of measurement. I find it especially hard, measuring when it come to family. Most people with a large family, parents, grandparents, great grandparents, cousins, siblings, etc. might agree, that when it comes to family, you do the most you can to help them when they are in need, but should there be a limit. Should there, or is a limit to which a threshold is reached and eventually broken?

I wonder, if you continue to help someone, will they learn from their experiences/mistakes? Are we in fact cheating them from their experience?

On the bright side

2006-04-19T18:12:00.000-07:00

Poeple suck. Really some people need to grow up. I Think I had this conversation a while back with Camden. But seriously, they do.

I've had to work on a group presentation with a FOOL for the past 6 weeks, and I am so done! SOOOOO done with him. Thank God, tonight is the last night!

Now on the brighter side...

While blogg surfing, I found the following quote... I love it!

"You can try the best you can
If you try the best you can
The best you can is good enough"

Optimistic, Radiohead.

My new vow

2006-04-12T22:57:00.000-07:00

So I have a new vow... actually a couple new ones. Here they are:

Carry my camera everywhere... you never know what is worth a picture
Speak/read spanish more fluently (this came after I had a really hard time translating something that happend in english to spanish)

and that is it for now... If I think of more I will add them!

You left, Now I left

2006-04-11T18:23:00.000-07:00

A voice full of remorse
Eyes full regret
You spoke and I listened
You left, I stayed

So much to say
I wanted to pray
Not for me, for you
You were gone, I was around

I have the strength
I fear your breath
You talked
I walked
This time, you stayed
I left

My ears closed
My heart beats
As you kept talking
I kept walking

No looking back
With a strut
I never looked lack

-FMG

Thanks Much!

2006-04-02T22:19:00.000-07:00

It has always been hard for me to be "open" about my feelings or my emotions. I am (and have always been) a pretty independant person.... but today, or mainly the last couple of weeks, I've needed my friends more than anything.

Thank you, Amy, for listening, for that shoulder you've lent me, and most importantly... for being there when I've needed you the most.

MUA!

Venting Session

2006-03-30T19:29:00.000-08:00

Oh I feel a venting session coming on.
Unfortunately I did not get my house :( Not for lack of trying. Unfortunately my brother is involved some legal matters, which in turn, led to me having to cancel my escrow. You know it's times like these that make me resent my family. I love them. I really do. But the majority of the time, it feels as if I am the mom, and it's not fair.

It makes so mad that because of his fuck ups, Im expected to put my life on hold, drop what I am doing and help him. You know the saddedst fact is that he is older than I am. Some how, along the gene line, I was handed the "responsible" gene, while my brother was probably in line for the free food.

It pisses me off. I am pissed off right now, but I am sure that is evident.

I hate that it is hard to concentrate on school, because of what him. I hate that I can't do my job happily... because of hime... and most importantly, I hate to see my mom so sad... because of him.

Maybe, one day he will realize how his actions impanct everyone else.... not just him.

Who's to say...

2006-03-24T14:55:00.000-08:00

Who's to say

What's impossible

Well they forgot

This world keeps spinning

And with each new day

I can feel a change in everything

And as the surface breaks reflections fade

But in some ways they remain the same

And as my mind begins to spread its wings

There's no stopping curiosity

-Jack Johnson

I love these lyrics.... I LOVE Jack Johnson

I've been swamped...

2006-03-12T15:59:00.000-08:00

I've been super swamped lately... I decided to take a full load at school, with my intention being to finish my BA by Spring '07.... but right now... right this second... I'm thinking it was a bad idea. (Sigh)

I expect things will get easier, and I know for a fact that I will get through this, but trying to stay on top of four classes AND complete my work (at work) successfully... is proving to be harder than expected. At work we are getting ready for the '07 lines so my work load has increased dramatically, and the turn around time, had not changed. I still like what I do, and I feel that without deadlines... I am not as successful as I can be.

Besides school and work, there is one other thing that has me a little on the edge. I am in the process of purchasing my first home. ahhh... this truly makes me so fucking nervous. I am trusting in God that he will never give me more than what I can handled, and that this is the right decision. It a great house, 3 brm, 2 baths, 2 car garage, and a pool. It's near where we live now, nice neighborhood, and great yard. If I am correct, I opened escrow this weekend.... so right now.. right this second... Im shitting bricks... ok not literally-but my palms do get sweaty every time I think about it.

All in all, I am good, I have small, but very life altering things on my plate.

But I will survive. I WILL survive...

Tabon's Shower

2006-03-04T18:50:00.001-08:00

Tabon's had their co-ed baby shower today... Little Kai is expected May 7th... how time flys, it feels like I was just at their wedding. It was a nice party. Lucy and Steve hired a "carnitas" lady to come and make tacos on demand. It was nice... they were gooooooood... mmmmm

TP was their too... hadn't seen him for a while.... but he rarely comes to the parties. B was there with his new girl. Normally, his girls make me crindge at sight, only because they seem to be so HA CHA CHA Porn Star like... but this one... she was really cute... and nice too. I think he needs to keep her... or maybe she needs to keep him!

Joji, as always was a ham. Dancing and all, she is crazy... the most attention driven kid I know. She does not give a hoot, who and how many are watching her, she will dance... regardless.

Now Paul. What a sweet heart. I would marry him in a second, if it wasn't for the fact that he is about 5'0 tall and about.. O, 100lbs. But I tell you, he is smart, funny, successfull, sweet, loyal.... I could go on...

I'm seeing Melissa tomorow.... she goes back Tuesday. Poor thing, drives back to Colorado with two children (under 4). I hope she and Matt decide to move back....

When is Honesty... Not the best policy?

2006-03-04T18:38:00.000-08:00

We say honesty, is the best policy.... but when does that "best policy"... go bad?

I have one friend who swears she is the most honest person around. She "tells it like it is" and if it offends people... "well that is their problem". I personally, don't agree with this. I feel that there is a time and a place for everything. If someone doesn't ask for your opinion... you shouldn't give it... regardless of if its good or bad.

Dentist visit

2006-02-19T20:58:00.000-08:00

I went to the dentist yesterday. I hate the dentist. I get so nervous, so anxious and nauseous. I hate it. Well after pushing my appoint back a week since December... I figured I better go before I lose my teeth. Well it turned out to be not so bad. I gagged all through the initial check up and through the part where he checks out your mouth to see where the work needs to be done... but then, once he started drilling and working on the cavaty.... I was good. I had my lovely mp3 player attached and blarring wonderful music in my ears. Well even though I gagged for the first ten minutes... I think I did pretty good... and you know the dentist had to nerve to tell me I need to relax..... You know... some positive feed back would haved helped at that moment... oh well. 6 months till the next visit! blah!

"Life is good"

2006-02-17T16:11:00.000-08:00

"Life is good" ~ Is something I have found myself saying, more often. I love it.

Work has been good,...school had been good, too. I just finished somewhat of an audit on my courses, and realized that I might be able to graduate by Spring '07. I'm very happy. I've been thinking about it more and more, and I'm leaning towards continuing on for my MBA. I figured, I might as well do it now, that I am in the groove of doing homework. Well we'll see what happends.

I found out today Dom (a co-worker) has brain cancer. I bearely know the guy but I still feel for him. He is turning 26 next week. Mark (my other co-worker) has started a series of Fundraising events to help him (and his family) financially, while he undergoes treatment. Dom has a 6year old little girl too. I'm volunteering with anything they are willing to give me.

I think it is because of stories like Dom's that I often feel so blessed.

Rose

2006-01-30T16:50:00.000-08:00

by Mark Ryden

I ran into Ryden's art work while watching a reality TV based show, Miami Inc. It revolves around a tattoo shop in South Beach, Miami and the different individuals who take that bold and daring decision of getting a tattoo. Anyway, this particular episode, a young girl walked in with this picture, wanting it on her lower back. She was getting it as a symbol of the loss she felt over the death of one of her closest friends.

Well, intrigued by Ryden's work, I went to his web site. It's got all of his art work, which is really odd. It's a dark and morbid, apparently, he has a thing for Grade A beef. So in most of his works, he has a slab of beef in the background.

Body in Paint

2006-01-24T21:10:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted pictures in a VERY long time.

I guess I hadn't found any worthy....

Till now...

Crushes

2006-01-23T13:39:00.000-08:00

I ran into Eric today. Let me introduce E to you. He is a very sweet, very nice, very attractive, 6’ ft tall co-worker of mine. He is really kick back, and sometimes funny. We hardly talk, simply for the fact that we work in different departments… however, occasionally, we get assigned to work on projects together, and when we do… let me just say… it makes my day. Anyway… I haven’t found out if he is married or dating (or somehow off the market), so really for now he is just a crush.

Now let me move on to Fred. Ahh Fred…. He is probably the ideal guy…(at least in my eyes, he is). He is smart, funny, witty, driven, and tall. Fred, I’ve know for about 6 or 7 years. He is a Convention Manager for a Hotel that is located next to where I work. When I used to be a Administrative Assistant I had to book conference rooms for various meetings, and when our in-house conference rooms were all booked, we would out source to that hotel. Any way… he always booked my rooms and occasionally when I had homework piled up I would run off to their restaurant and finish it there. Well through my many visits and calls to him, we have become pretty good friends. We’ve chatted about everything, from family to friends, to Vegas trips, to work, to education… anyway he is just a well rounded guy. The last time I talked to him was at the beginning of December ’05. He was getting ready to visit his brothers in the East Coast. I haven’t seen him since… I wonder how that went. Well, when I talk to him, I will let you know and update you…

Well for now they are crushes... let's cross our fingers and see where life will take us from here!

The News these days...

2006-01-13T19:13:00.000-08:00

I rarely watch the news. Not because I don't have time, or could care less... but rather, it depresses me. For example, two nights ago, I was laying in bed exhausted from a 10 hour work day (it's our busy season) and a night of shitty sleep, anyway...the TV was on the news and the remote was across the room... but I was seriously tired, so I just listened... I figured I could at least get the wheather so I could figure out what to wear.

Well let me give you the 3 tops stories that MADE me get up and say F-the wheather... I'll wing it!

1. A woman in boonyville, Ohio who won the State Lotto of a couple millon dollars, is now facing felony charges. It turns out the woman, purchased the winning lotto ticket with her (get this), deceased grandmothers credit card. -Ok... yeah thats bad.... but here is the real kicker- the state is actually trying to decide weather the woman will get to keep the money. -Mind you she had already received $30,000 of it. Tell me, if she used her grammy's plastic... How is she ever considered to be the winner?

2. A lion in the L.A. Zoo had to be euthenized after he broke his leg. It turns out he has weak bones and broke his leg while jumping from one rock to the other. Well thats not the only reason, it turns out, while they were putting the cast on he broke his other leg.... This is just plain sad.

3. And lastly, Brad Pitt and Angelina Joely are having a baby. Tell me how the hell does this make it to the NEWS? Seriously... I mean... I love Angelina Joely... she is cool, she kicks ass... and she is a great humanitarian. Brad Pitt... well, he is just plain HOT (that's all, maybe a good actor too).... either way... yes I agree, their baby has great chances of being very attractive... but c'mon... it's not 11'o'clock news worthy... at least I don't thinks so-

N E Way... I just thought I would put this out. I've been thinking about it the last couple of nights!

Ahh What A Day!

2006-01-11T19:07:00.000-08:00

The funiest thing happen to me today. Ahhh... I really wish I could have been one of the "outsiders" looking in!

So every so often, we get groups of people that come by our department to tour and observe how we work our magic. Anyway... I was in my work area completing a style (for those who don't know, I am a hair designer for toys)... so I was working diligently when a guy with about 2 people straggeling behind him come by and asked if they can "hover" over me to watch what I do. So I look up at him and say "Sure... of corse", so I look back down to make sure I don't nick my finger with the scisssors, and then look up again, to find about 30 or so additional men.... ALL of whom were staring at me... just waiting for me to start... I know that instantly, I turned red... bright red, and started getting hot... I just kept thinking... "oh shit I'm turning red"... Well let me just make it clear... that had it been random regular joes... I would have been A O K... But nooooo, I had to get the group that was constructed of really hot, latin, and european tall business men... aww man was I blushing... Well during my whole shpeel I remember looking up once again, and noticing a couple of the guys smirking at me.... (probably thinking... what a fool I was)... Anyway after I finished, as they started to walk away I "recollected" myself and walked (practically flew) over to my co-workers who normally does these tours, (and yes left me high and dry) to tell her what happen... well suddenly I see a the guys that were smirking at me earlier straggling behind.... well they make it a point to stop me and thank me for the tour... I just smiled, chuckled and said... No Problem... Anytime! :)

Ahh what a day... I tell you...

Some Stuff...

2006-01-08T20:50:00.000-08:00

Oh Beautiful California... How I love thee...
Last week, the wheather ranged between 60 and 85 degrees... always SUNNY, this weekend, the wheather lagged a little. It ranged in mid to high 60's. I love it. I don't think I could ever move to those states where there are actual seasons and a real purpose for coats.

So I got my brand new laptop last week, and after all the program installation of very improtant software like Yahoo Messanger and my wireless router I am up and running... We shall see how long this one lasts.

Well I am getting in the "vacation" mode. The Hotel (in Hawaii) has been booked! All I need now is airfare, luggage, and oh a two piece swim suit. So I'm determined to drop 15 pounds by May... what does that give me? four and a half months... I believe I can do it... we'll see.

That's about it for today... I felt I just needed to write something... to let some things on my mind out....

Happy (Be-lated) Holidays

2006-01-04T08:08:00.000-08:00

Sorry to have been majorly MIA these past couple of weeks. Work was closed last week so since I had it off... I really took it off! I just chilled lounged around... it was beautiful.

Christmas and New Years were lovely. Christmas was nice, hung with the family got a few gifts I was looking forward to.

New Years... now that is a different story. Somewhere between Christmas and New Years I caught an aweful head cold. Major conjestion, soar throat... but I STILL managed to drag myself out to party. I went to a couple of parties, drank very little, since I felt like shit the majority of the time, and finally made it to my cousins house in time to kick off 2006 with all those crazy fools... its funny... the earlier parties consisted of "peers" (mid to late 20's), which we showed as we drank, danced, and caught up with friends... while my cus' party was an older crowd (early to late 30's), and you'd swear they just turned 21... When I got there, they were taking body shots and playing darts, where the major bet was, that if you missed the board (as most buzzed people who play darts do) and hit the wall you automatically had to drink a shot. As you can imagine, by 1am they were all drunk as hell!

All in all it was a nice time off. Now I'm back to work and can't wait for Friday to arrive! :)

I'm back in action...

2005-12-16T08:32:00.000-08:00

It's nice to be back in a routine. I've started working out regularly and eating healthy again. It's funny how your body relies on it so much. I used to workout out anywhere between 6 and 9 times a week at the beginning of the year, but once I switched jobs, I found I wasn't making the time to exercise. So not only was I miserable at work, I also, wasn't doing much of anything I liked doing for my "me" time. Anyway 3 months later, I quit that God awful job, and found another. So here I am back to having it my way. I love my job and work out regularly.

Ok so you might be asking yourself what the point of all this is... Well, as I said earlier, your body has a way of reacting to things. I used to be able to jog for about 30 minutes straight, do my advance yoga without any complaints, and the kick boxing classes without loosing my breath. After the three month lapse on my routines I couldn't jog past 5 minutes without getting that nasty pain in your side, forget the advance yoga, as I could not balance on one leg more than 2 minutes, and not to mention the kick boxing classes... I would have to stop a couple times to catch my breath... I tell you, three months was enough to get me to realize what a lazy ass I was being...

Well anyway I've been working out regularly again for about 4 weeks... And last night I was so proud of myself because I was able to jog for 20 minutes... No pain... no loss of breath... I LOVE IT.. I was so stoked! Yoga is still challenging, but I'm sure it will get easier... oh and the kick boxing classes... those... those have definitely been easiest.

Don't Take Things Personal

2005-12-13T15:17:00.000-08:00

I’ve come to the realization that we (as humans) are selfish people. Although I think it’s normal and the majority of us don’t do it purposely we still some how manage to make things about “us”.

Now, I do understand that there are a few people out there that are a lot more self- centered than the average, and these are the people who ALWAYS have drama in their lives. No matter how much they might want to live a peaceful life, they wont be able to. They are way too needy and way too into themselves to be able to live without all the attention on them.

You see I started reading this book called “The Four Agreements”. It’s really quite good, it talks about the four agreements we should have with ourselves. They are: 1.Be Impeccable with Your Word 2. Don’t Take Anything Personal 3. Don’t Make Assumptions and 4. Always Do Your Best. All four, great agreements, and actually words you can live by… but the one that seems to stand out the most is number 2. Don’t Take Things Personal.

So many times have people been misunderstood because the other person took something personal. And so many times we get so hurt when people say things to hurt us, when in fact, if we didn’t take it personal, we would understand that they themselves are simply hurt and mad. I understand that we all have to vent, and at one point or another we all blow up and are frustrated and say really stupid things… but have you noticed that those are the moments when we, ourselves, are hurt and mad?

Heh… just a little something to get those wheels turning! :)

My Unfortunate Event...

2005-12-02T16:14:00.000-08:00

So although this week has been filled with many many busy unfortunate events and a few nice ones... let me describe to you the one that has stood out the most... unfortunate... but definately humorous!

Thursday night, a friend of mine (with two girls 3 and 5 years old and a husband who travels often) asks me if I can watch the girls for a few hours later this evening, because her husband is out of town. I agreed and showed up tired and exhausted... but still looking forward to hanging out with the girls... during the middle of the evening the oldes girl decides she wants to color, and pulls a large gallon size bag of markers and crayons and a stack of paper off the table and plops it down in the middle of the living room floor. Right as both of the girls and I were getting ready to distribute paper and coloring tools the phone rings... I walked to the kitche answered it.. and found it was their father... so he chats with the older girl first for a few minutes and then with the youngest for a little bit less, before the youngest hands the phone to me. I take the phone and start talking to him, while walking back to the base to put the phone back... at most 3 minutes... 3 MINUTES...

When I turn around to find the youngest with a pair of sizors in one hand and her hair in the other... giving herself a haircut! I raise my voice from across the hall, walk towards her and tell her "put those sizors down, you may not cut your hair... sizors are for paper only" yatti yatti...
Then, I run my fingers through her hair (to see how much she cut off) and notice... a wod of hair stays in my hand (similar to when dogs shed).. it turns out (like most preschoolers) her fine motor skills and pincer grip has not fully developed so she couldnt close the sizors correctly so she mainly shaved most of it... egh!

I was so mad at myself mainly for not being there... I know had it been my own child I probably would have smirked initially... because in the end... you can't change the past... and also it is something that most children are curious about... but being that they were NOT my children... I was mortified...

Needless to say... I told their mom. Luckily she is like me.. so she did smile and assured me... that it was not a big deal to her... THANK GOD!

Ok.. Possitive point of the week- I completed HW, Project assignment, and my 3DQ's sparing 3 days! I LOVE IT!

nothing much

2005-11-22T19:31:00.000-08:00

What a day today... I was swamped at work... with ... work... the nerve... I guess my honeymoon phase is over. I am now an official permanent employee... so there for I must work... ALOT~

So I am now sitting in class... bord to death... I gotta admit I feel a little guilty, I have been surfing the blog data base for the past hour just looking for other blogs to read... and I must say, I have been sadly dissapointed. I did find the following in someone's blog.. can't remember who's... anyway... it caught my attention and felt the need to re-post it!

Remember! No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Here are my thouhts on it... I am the first person to say... "own your feelings" and I'm the first one to add "you cannot control anyone else BUT yourself... , So stop trying"! (you'll be much happier).

Positive note for the day... I LOVE my job! :)

Liars!

2005-11-17T09:00:00.000-08:00

Those who say money doesn't buy happiness... LIE!

Now don't get me wrong... I know you can't pay for love and pay to be emotionally happy, BUT seriously, money sure as hell makes you confortable... which in turn... makes you a hell of alot happier than if you were poor!

The pain is back...

2005-11-17T08:29:00.000-08:00

My back has been killing me these days. AGAIN! I guess the pain never left... it just dulled a little. But I am back to feeling the sharp pain down my right leg, and the sharp prick when I shift my weight from one side of my body to the other. Its hard to explain, but I will try...

When I'm standing, and I lean over a counter to reach for something.... it hurts so bad my back gives out and I have to place my hands in front of me to form somewhat of a bridge...
When I lean to hug someone shorter than me, it hurts.
When I stand for more than 15 minutes... it hurts.
When I sit for more than 15 minutes... it hurts.
when I sneeze, I have to hold on to something, because my back becomes weak and gives out.
When I'm laying on my side, if I want to switch to the other side, I can't just lift my pelvic area and scoot it over... I HAVE to sit up completely and THEN scoot my bottom, while supporting myself with my arms.
And lastly... it's so hard to kick-box

What I don't get is I'm 25 and have always been active... Soccer in elementary school, basketball in Jr. High, softball in high school, and gym 5 days a week after that... so tell me how this happened to me?

Also tell me how this day in age, there isn't much they can do about it... (for the two slipped disks in my lower back)... My primary doctor says excises.. my orthopedic doctor says, no exercise, just yoga... But I have to tell you, yoga is REALLY difficult when you can't move very well... Both doctors are against surgery (no complaints here), but can they at least give me some drugs to numb me... just for a little?

Ok positive note for this post filled with bitching and venting: JoJi turns 3 years old... in two weeks and she is so dang cute still... Oh and her mom is expecting baby #2.. I'm sure JoJi will be very accepting (ha!)

How much do we care?

2005-11-14T15:36:00.000-08:00

How much do we care, what others think of us? I know if you asked me if I cared what people thought of me, my automatic reply would be… I don’t really care… I do what I do… and the only person I need to answer to, ultimately is me… but is that the truth?

I’m beginning to think not… I am also finding, that, that is the case for most. I have a couple of examples I have come across that keep making me ask my self this question over and over…

Example 1- Age 20’s: A close friend of mine “friend A” made a poor decision that led her to a financial loss… her first thought…”don’t tell friend B, I don’t want her to know”.

Example 2- Age- 30’s: When a good friend of mine and his girlfriend ended things, they did not end in such good terms…and the one thought that he kept repeating was… “I don’t want to think that there is someone out there that thinks of me as a bad person”.

Example 2- Age – 40’s; I have these two pair of married friends who are in the same point in their lives. They both are settled, 2 children, 1 dog, and a nice home. One is a stay-home mother, and the other is a career oriented person. The common bond was that both their husbands worked for the same company. Sadly the stay-at home mother’s husband was laid off and they were forced to move back near their family for support. First thing out of her mouth… was… “Don’t tell “career oriented mom”, I don’t want them to know”. The career oriented mom’s husband was also laid off about a year or so later, her thought was the same… “don’t tell stay at home mom… I would rather she not know”.

So tell me… why do we care? It seizes to amaze me how no matter how old you are, you will always wonder what people think of you. Why is that?

The Key? Perhaps...

2005-11-10T13:00:00.000-08:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Things you could know… if you only ask!

2005-11-08T10:40:00.000-08:00

Inspired by my friend

serendipity

I work for Barbie… she’s a cool boss.
Gummie bears rule!
I am not a morning person… see me around noon, I’ll be chatty then.
I like to talk to random people about random stuff
If you want to know… just ask me
I like to ask couples how they met… don’t know why, just curious I guess
I have a dog named Rowsie who is 5 years old and is the laziest dog I’ve ever come across… anytime she moves… she farts - I still love her!
Why are some people so bitter? Dude… LET – IT – GO!
Kids and the elderly are funny and Oh so interesting…
I’m not a typical girl, because I don’t like to shop, I don’t like make up, I don’t wear heals, I don’t like perfumes… and I hate pantyhose!
Why is it that short guys hit on me?
I like milk… I drink it for breakfast and dinner
This is for the men… no matter how hot you are… you NEED an undershirt!
I’m not picky, just particular about certain things!
I like to see little kids wearing Uggs… they’re so dang cute!
I have a co-worker who looks like Casper Van Dien… hubba hubba!
I don’t have a favorite color… and I don’t have a favorite flower…

R.I.P

2005-11-06T18:08:00.000-08:00

It’s the hardest thing to say good bye to someone you’ve known and loved. It’s the hardest thing to accept that that person will no longer be around in flesh… and most importantly its so damn hard to be around and see how much their family and friends miss him.

Today I had to say good bye to a dear friend of mine. He was only 30 years old with a wonderful heart and so much to offer the world. The mortuary was jammed packed with people that they had to open a second room to accommodate the rest… this has got to tell what kind of a person he was…

Although I know God has taken him from us too soon, I know he has a reason for that. All I ask God, is that he lets him see how he affected all us, and how his spirit will remain alive in our hearts.

God Bless You and Always Keep You!

RIP

J.G.R 11/6/05

Oh the juggling act...

2005-11-01T10:40:00.000-08:00

Here I am again, finding myself to have let so much time pass between each posting. So much has happened and so much has not happened, that it makes it hard to know where to start. Again, I have been faced with the dilemma of balancing the 5 balls in my life, (The balls being work, family, health, friends and integrity...). Its so hard to juggle all five at once, as I have mentioned before, I seem to have continuous control over 4, but when I start to get control over that 5th and final one, one of the others seems to slip... making me have to stop and start over again. I realize that while I will not always have 100% balance of all five, I just wish I could get at lest 80% of all at once... who knows... maybe its just not the right time!

These past couple of months have been pretty interesting. Filled with many new experiences, emotions, and people I have learned a lot. A lot about life, friends, and most importantly, myself. I am very Thankful! I will always be!

thoughts on love

2005-10-16T23:07:00.000-07:00

"dont be afraid. dive in. let it engulf you. the highs and the lows are worth the risk. the pleasure and pain is divine"
-BPS